This amazing post was written by Aelthwyn on Personality Cafe. I asked her if I could post it because it truly speaks to exactly what I desire in a career and my very feelings were echoed around the board.
When you’re done here, look at the article by Helen Marriot that was inspired by this post: Look for Perfect and then Compromise.
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The cunundrum I think a lot of us have is that it’s hard for us to do what we love for a living because it frequently requires us to go by other people’s guidelines and ideas and such, which makes it no longer our own creative expression and cheapens it for us. And if we do that all the time we want to do something else in our free time, so we don’t end up ever really getting into our flow and feeling really alive in the activities we love. However, we also have a hard time doing something that isn’t something we really love and believe in because then we are pouring our time and energy into something that doesn’t matter and that leaves us empty.
Likewise, we are neither interested in directing others nor following directions. The trouble for us with this is that most of the time being in charge of your own work/business requires practical knowlege, organization, and ability to get out there and convince others they need your goods/services – none of which are our strong point. We also tend to like security, which entreprenuership doesn’t often have. Not to sound too bleak, but it feels like a catch 22 as they say.
What we really need is someone interested in helping us in the practical matters of personal business, or as mentioned above being part of a small company where we can be seen as individuals, have a caring family feel, and have a chance to be recognized for our creativity and inginuity without having to be too bold or have authority over others. Other than that, what we need are Patrons, someone rich who wants to help support us so that we don’t have to worry about the mundane money-making aspect of life.
A lot of us Idealists probably find money a rather unworthy goal, and thus have a hard time with almost any job setting (even if it seems initially to be something we like) because a lot of time it starts to feel like it’s all coming down to money – how much work can they get out of us, how much money can we get out of them….and that just clashes with our value system. In a sense it starts to feel like baking brownies every day when you don’t like chocolate – why am I doing this again? I don’t even really care about this!
I think the common reccommendation that INFPs would like to work in people oriented service jobs is a bit off the mark. We do usually care about others and enjoy showing our care, but we are still introverts and we don’t generally like a lot of shallow interactions – which means that service jobs may be fullfilling and draining at the same time. I think we are much more likely to feel fullfilled serving a small number of people that we know well, such as family and friends. Honestly, I’ve always thought my ideal job would be either as a nanny or a stay-at-home mom. I love to invest in a few people who are close to me, and enjoy taking care of things for others – being the behind the scenes support system for those that do go out and do other things.
I definately don’t have any good answers to this Ultimate INFP dilemma, I’m going through this myself. A couple years ago I felt like I’d lost my soul working in a book store (hey it sounded great, I love books and I was back in the stockroom alone wih my own music, sounds good….but the burden of more and more procedures, and pressure to be more and more productive, and negative managers sucked me dry of life and creativity). I’m still attempting to get my own sewing/craft business going, and wanting to look into photography but feeling overwhelmed by that.
I think perhaps a lot of us could use a good career counselor who understands and respects our needs, but knows a lot of possibilities and can make the connections for us that are hard for us to make ourselves. sigh…..
Something I did at one point shortly after quitting my old job was to make a list of things that I really needed in a job – not interests, but practical aspects.
Some of the things I found important for me were (in no paticular order):
Working on Projects Alone – I don’t do well in groups, I either end up doing all of it, or get totally ignored.
Autonomy – I hate being constantly directed, I want to see what needs to be done and do it in my own way in my own order
Projects not Hours – I hate stopping when I’m in the flow, and I hate having to hang around when there’s nothing to do. I’ll put in a lot of extra work if you let me, but don’t make me waste my time pretending to look busy just because you want a body there during ‘work hours’.
Free Schedule – I need to be respected to have my own life and priorities. I will do the work – but does it really matter when? I hate having to eat when I’m not hungry, or not be able to take a break at an opportune stopping point.
Creativity & Intelligence – I need to be allowed to come up with creative solutions and ideas and have them listened to and appreciated. I hate being treated like an idiot just because I don’t have a big pay-check.
Personal – not Impersonal – I hate the impersonal ‘business’ attitude
My Own Space - I need to have a pleasing personal environment, some place I can feel comfortable in order to be able to feel positive and stay energized and focused. Working in drab, company standard environments, or having to listen to popular music all day makes me angry and depressed and distracted and….I just break down very fast.
Ideals & Values – I can’t invest in or promote things I don’t believe in, I can’t be asked to go against my values
Positive People – A Negative critical atmosphere really takes the life out of me, strained feelings in the air make me physically ill. I need to know that I am appreciated.
Security - stress over money is not something I do well with, being afriad of not being able to pay my bills tends to immobilize me and distract me from creative inspiration.
……who knows what job has all these things?
I’ve also considered what seems to be what I’m made to do, what do I do naturally that gives me fullillment in life?
1. Loving and encouraging others
2. Appreciating the beauty in the world and helping others to see it, also reminding people of the simple joys in life
3. Creating – coming up with stories, imagining, designing many kinds of things, arranging, making things beautiful
4. Thinking deeply and coming to an understanding of things
Surely these things are useful. Surely there must be a way to make a living through them???
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Don’t forget to check out Helen’s post.
It sounds like I wrote this article! Everything the writer listed as needs in a job and the list of things she does naturally sound EXACTLY like me! I’ve been feeling like something is wrong with me as I don’t seem to honestly like any job I’m in and I’m restless for something more. Makes me feel better that there are more like me out there. But yeah, ..”who knows what job has all these things?” In all of my researching I have yet to find it
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Abby, I can totally relate to you on this. This article describes me to a T! I am making a career change from the military and decided that I am going to find something I truly like and and suits me. I’m just starting my research and welcome any thoughts. How have I survived 22 years in the military?
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Todd,
You asked, “How have I survived 22 years in the military?
Well, the military has its ways to make you stop thinking. It dehumanizes its members.
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Hi Todd,
Thank you for your service. I’m an INFP and am considering the military if not for a full career, then as a reservist. I’m attracted by the possibility of adventure and the sense of doing global good, but fear the mundane aspects. In whole, did you feel satisfied or frustrated beyond measure? Thank you again.
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Hi Todd, Sam, and Crystal!
I’m replying LOONG after a reply would be useful or relevant…but am doing so in the hopes that anybody who comes to this later can be helped by my insight!
I served in the military (Navy) for 3 years and continued working for DOD for 10 additional years as a contractor followed by government employee. I was an older recruit, I had already completed 3 years of college and had some family issues I needed to get away from. If you join the military after even a LITTLE college credit, you will be placed at a slightly higher level than the other recruits.
DoD is filled with the “SJ” temperament, pegged as the Guardian’s. They are very generous and like to follow the rules and have structured policy and procedures. An INFP can do very well in the military/DoD as long as you seek more experienced military personnel to “mentor” you. I will admit that the first year will be extremely difficult. You must have some strategies to get you through the ‘hurry and wait’ and ‘do what your told, don’t question it’ training period. I found ways to get lost in my own head and pushed through. (I also took naps on the toilet – with my pants down since they checked to see if people were sleeping!!!)
Also, I would recommend INFP’s choose your branch carefully. If you can’t stand to be in one building a long time, being stuck on a ship would be excruciating! If you don’t like physical activity Army and Marine Corps would be tough! I made sure I got the top grade in my class and got to pick land duty when I got out of school, which was perfect for me.
The one thing I will emphasize the most is that the ‘N’ will drive you CRAZY in a DoD job, you must learn strategies to present your ideas in a step-by-step process and remind yourself that DoD values tradition and keep that in mind when you are presenting ideas. The ‘P’ combined with the ‘F’ of your personality will help you get very far in DoD, as long as you learn to communicate your ideas to groups of ‘SJ’ types. DoD wants to do things well and are willing to change processes, especially if it will help the service members (they are generous folk). However, they don’t have many that think beyond what they were told to do to come up with the best way of doing it. As long as you can present your ideas following their procedures (chain of command, show the “if — then” and “cause — effect” of your ideas all the while respecting the tradition of processes already in place) you could do very well and be very happy.
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Those last four things you mentioned there… well that’s exactly what I’m looking for in life.
I’m a confirmed INFP.
Right now I’m trying to figure out what career suits me best. I would love to work part time helping a small group of people.
I hate being cut-throat. And my current career path is as cut throat as it can get. I don’t have choice right now. I have to go along with it for at least a few more years until I can save enough money to shift into what I want. For now I’m just trying to figure out what I want.
If you figure out great careers for INFP’s please let me know.
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Your article is exactly how I’ve felt since I entered the work place – and even while I was in university, high school, elementary school… My whole life, I’ve felt there was something seriously wrong with me, I’m still learning not to be “ashamed” or “embarassed” for being different – that I need to fully embrace it. I can totally relate to how extremely hard it is to find a job I like and to derive any kind of satisfaction from it. I feel that I need to “fake” interest so that I’m not misjudged as being “lazy”. There’s a big difference between being an INFP and lazy… I wish people put as much effort and compassion into understanding us as we INFPs put into caring about and understand others… It makes life extremely difficult… Like our quest for finding meaning in life is a never-ending, life-long struggle…
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‘ I feel that I need to “fake” interest so that I’m not misjudged as being “lazy”. There’s a big difference between being an INFP and lazy… I wish people put as much effort and compassion into understanding us as we INFPs put into caring about and understand others… It makes life extremely difficult… Like our quest for finding meaning in life is a never-ending, life-long struggle…’
I totally understand what you mean
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This person has made me smile as I realize that I’m not some ADD career changer! We can all continue on as we love to do…researching ourselves as what careers will be most satisfying.
I have been in healthcare for 15 years and am completely drained. Helping people….yes! However the criticism kills me.
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I am going through the same thing. My kids are almost grown and I have been in nursing for 22 years and hospice nursing for 11 years. I am so drained that I have to beat myself into submission just to go to work and sometimes cry because I just hate doing it now. I am sick of sick people..I know that sounds cruel but before I was a natural at it..but now healthcare is such a money making business and I am soooo drained from diseases..death..comforting sad people facing their deaths. I don’t feel like I can hold on much longer. My patients and families think I am awesome and so loving and the greatest thing…and I feel like a poser..after I leave their home I just want to scream and say I want to run to the hills and become a freelance photographer and live in my own little on in the woods and do whatever I want. I have been thinking I am having a midlife crisis…Thanks for your post. I am not alone.
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Dana- you could be writing my story!
I have also been a hospice nurse for many years and cannot take it anymore. I took a position as a QM with Big Corporation Hospice a year ago and what corporate greed has done to healthcare is sickening, especially what it has done to Hospice care and the people who are called to work in it. Hospice is imploding, no?
I am getting out.
My boyfriend has offered to support us while I take a break and reconfigure what’s next. I started having very serious health problems (perf’d ulcers) and can not do this to myself anymore. I should be able to quit by the beginning of August. Even my kids are saying they don’t care if we eat pb&j’s all the time and live in a yurt; they see that’s it has become a toxic situation for me.
I am sending you my very best prayers, thoughts and hopes sister in hospice! Give yourself permission to lay down your role in spiritual midwifery for others, and turn that energy to your own soul and happiness. – I am ready to live in some healing seclusion too…(((hugs)))
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Hi guys!
I am an INFP and have to say I am finding the comments very helpful. I am 24 and already looking to switch careers. I am a technology specialist in an elem. school but in the summers I have always been a nanny and love working with children. Last year, I stepped away from the tech position to work in a floral/design shop..now back to the tech position because the shop closed. It is a constant struggle between a creative outlet or a secure, respectable job. Have always considered nursing (and truly considering it right now)..I love to give and be there for others but it sounds like from some of your comments it has drained you.
I have recently started yoga (amazing!) because for my job now all I do is give and needed to find a way to give back to myself.
I am looking to go back to school and struggling trying to figure out the right path..nursing..floral..speech..nanny. Its overwhelming.
Any advice?
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Check this site out it will help! It helped me figured out what I was good at and now I’m just doing due diligent research.
http://www.pathfinderscareerdesign.com/index.html
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yea basically I know what your talking about i’ve been in numerous of jobs since the age of 14 I don’t like to be stagnant when I know their is something else out there for me that I would enjoy bottom line i’d rather be behind the scenes on the computer or writing something that will improve lives I’d really like to find ways to help the inner city kids excel and do better in school and have a better chance at life basically i’d like to be the one to start change and have a game plan to do soo I also think i’d be a gra8 song writer or making sales marketing for others
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Thanks for the post. I am too looking at changing my career. In college years ago I ended up in a major I didnt like and couldn’t afford to change it ( would have added MANY more years to finish). Now I’m looking at a community college for a career program. I’m just not sure what i should do. the career office could only give general ideas for INFP like health care or religious studies. *sigh*
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What did you major in that you disliked if you don’t mind me asking? Also what would you have liked to major in?
Don’t give up on your dreams because of the time it’ll take to get there, the time will pass anyways..
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this totally describes me too!! that is crazy! now im starting to believe this INFP stuff…
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This article is great; I completely get it and it just affirms my thoughts about a career. I’m a stay at home mom right now but really need to start thinking of something I can do once the kids are all school age. It kills me to think of working for some company doing something that only makes more money for the company, but doesn’t actually MEAN anything to my life or my family’s life, ugh! I start to feel paralized by just the though of the process of going back to school and I worry about losing motivation while I’m in school. My husband admits he has a “job” and he thinks that having a “career” is a luxury for those who happen to discover something they like to do and brings home the bacon. He doesn’t get it. I realize we need money to survive, but living off grid sounds more and more appealing. I hate money!
Can’t I just sew to make a living while someone else runs the business and deals with the money?
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Honestly, I guess I have found the job that suits an INFP as decribed well. I work as a University Lecturer in ‘soft’ skills. The benefits: no commercial stress, freedom and creativity in developing programs, individual work with very inspirational colleagues and students, sense of usefulness and complete flexibilty to work whenever wherever, except for the hours in front of a group (max 8 a week).
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What are “soft” skills? Is that the topic?
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Yes, this is a very accurate description of the dilemma of INFPs and careers. I’ve been out of college and in the working world for roughly six years now, and have had a heck of a time finding a good fit. My friends and family can’t quite relate. The interesting thing is, all of those qualities you’ve mentioned–being able to love and encourage others, being able to appreciate beauty in the world, and being able to think deeply–are extremely important, in my opinion, for humanity…in fact they’re crucial right now. But in my experience, they are also qualities that are severely undervalued in the working world. The hard truth is, if more people were to love and encourage others, think deeply, and appreciate beauty, I’m not sure that our current economy could continue existing. But things are changing. Old models of work are falling by the wayside, and notions about how value is given and received is changing. I think more and more, people are looking for trust, and beauty, and compassion from people. Maybe I’m just saying that because I live and work in a pretty progressive city, but maybe not. I think there’s a transformation afoot in the world of work, and people are going to seek out INFPs for their very important gifts, their insight, and their unwavering devotion to causes. We just need to hang on a little longer and keep it real.
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You are correct. If you have the opportunity check out Richard Florida’s book…The Rise of the Creative Class…eye opener. Or Nicholes Lore’s The Pathfinder. It is a superb book that goes much further for readers looking to either change course in career or stepping into one.
I agree with the posts.
Appreciate the space.
The INFP Career Counselor
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I need help with career. I am open to anything you say/suggest, or any thoughts, ideas, etc. you would like to express. I have a path I’m on but would like to hear what you say. I am an INFP. Thank you if you respond! I hope to speak with you soon.
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What is your path?
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This is so me!!!! Well put!
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I too can relate to all of the above although It’s a close run thing whether I am INFP or INFJ. I would really recommend a book called \The Career Guide for Creative and Unconventional People\ by Carol Eikleberry. I have only just started to dare to think about doing creative work that fulfills me and i think it will take me many years to be able to make all my living by doing work I connect with. This book is like a bible!…it understands me when other people don’t..and I often go back to read a little bit to help me through.
I know it’s incredibly difficult to turn things round if you’re like me and have lived many years in low paid unfullfilling jobs and are usually exhausted and skint!
But I do believe that despite what most others think, it is possible.
Good luck to everyone.
Sue
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I’m a definite INFP. I think I’ve hit upon a career that works well for our type. I’m a Massage Therapist. I’ve been practicing over 12 years now. It’s definitely a job that involves care, and it is something where I can make a difference and the clients value what I can do for them. I work one -on- one directly with a client in my own private room. No management is breathing over my shoulder telling me how I should be doing my job. I can work how I feel led and in a way that makes the client happy. And Massage pays well hourly, so I don’t have to work endless hours to make a living. Since a lot of us don’t place such a high value on money, massage is a way to support myself without feeling burned out on working too much.
I’ve recently finished up schooling for nail technology as well, so I’m starting into adding spa pedicure and manicures. It’s a way for develop my creativity when addressing the needs and wants of my clients. And MT is the type of career that you can get all sorts of continuing education where you add tricks to your bag that are completely based on your interests.
The one area that i’ve sort of jumped place to place about is my actual business locale. Even though we are (usually ) independent contractors, we are governed a bit by the people who allow us to practice in their business. I moved around quite a bit over the years trying to figure out what exactly is the right spot for me. I’m in the midst of another upcoming transition. I’m really hoping that I’m onto what works best for me.
Just a bit of my story to give you food for thought. Good Luck.
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Thanks sue, I’m definitely checking that out! But this describes exactly what I want in a workplace. I want to be able to care for others, but I want to be creative at the same time. I considered being a social worker but I’m not sure if I would be able to apply my creative side in that job. Very difficult! XD
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Hi Nazy
I don’t know how far you’ve looked into Social Work but from what I’ve heard it’s a time constrainted nightmare. I think the problem us infp’s have is that we would probably do really well in fields we choose if they were in an ideal world. The world of social work appears bound by many rules, regulations and targets and was by no means ideal even before the recession and cuts. I suspect being an occupation therapist or speech therapist may be more pleasant and constructive but I don’t know how much of your own creativity you would be able to apply. (I tried teaching many years ago – loved the lesson planning if I spent loads of time on one lesson – couln’t cope atall with all the crowd control, paperwork, and not being able to spend more time with individuals and small grooups)
But bills have to be paid don’t they?
One option would be to do one of the above and then do some voluntary work wher you can be more creative e.g. creating learning games for people with learning difficulties, activities for people with alzheimers….or maybe look into being art/drama/writing/gardening therapist
Hope this helps
Sue
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Forgot to mention re: above… there’s always opportunities in the long run to set up working for yourself and then you could be really creative. From what I can make out, politically, there’s going to be more private work in the social sector from now on.
Sue
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Great comments everyone! So sorry, I just realized 5-10 comments were lying around unapproved. But now they’re here for all the world to see how brilliant you all are!
This is something I continue to struggle with. I had gotten back on track at work and was focussing pretty well. Then all of a sudden, I got stuck doing something boring and I just. Can’t. Get myself motivated enough to do it! It is killing me and forcing me to, yet again, re-evaluate my career.
I’m still pushing for having a small Internet based business. I have some business sense and can take care of my money, but my wife is also very level headed. So that’s extremely helpful when I start getting my head to far in the clouds.
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Its as if you’ve read my heart. Everything fit so wonderfully. I’m in college right now and I think I’ve changed my major about 10 times. I’ve spent hours and hours researching a career that will fit me and it seems hopeless. Everything that is almost perfect has no security which is something important. If only there could be some almost perfect job with security that I could do part time, and then I could do everything perfect on the side. I think for INFPs we just have to learn to settle, but at the same time I don’t want to settle! I want to find that perfect career, somehow.
On a side note I’ve noticed that most INFPs feel really misunderstood. I always feel that people just don’t get me, and now I don’t feel alone in that. Thanks fellow INFPs!
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What were some of the majors you had in mind?
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My experience has been that employers just don’t want INFPs as employees. In fact, some employers conduct personality tests b4 hiring ppl.
My ex-boss promoted me to supervisor, as I was extremely good at my job. However, I’m not a very authoritative person and often get bullied by other people, so of course this didn’t work out very well. Once I got promoted, one of my coworkers got jealous and started complaining about me to my boss. That created an uncomfortable environment for me. Also my supervisor style was to try to motivate employees by creating a fun and pleasant work environment–very unAmerican of me I guess. (If you appear to be having fun at work, apparently, some people assume that you aren’t working. Not true, I worked so hard I got stressed out.) I think my coworker as well as my boss didn’t appreciate what I was trying to do–to create an office filled with happy, highly motivated employees.
My boss didn’t like my desire to improve employee morale. Even when I needed to criticize an employee’s performance, I’d emphasize his/her strengths b4 mentioning what needed to improve. I also wanted to provide top performing employees w/rewards, rather than emphasize punishing employees who weren’t productive enough (my boss’s style.) My boss complained I was trying to be “friends” with employees. Corporate America doesn’t like equality. Employees are inferior to their supervisors, you see.
Unfortunately, ppl like me are just not wanted by this job market, so I’m not sure of what to do. Right now, as a well-educated, highly skilled person, I’m preparing for possibly becoming homeless while working on trying to launch my own business at the same time. Part of me wants to pitch a tent and live off the land in the middle of a wilderness somewhere. The other part of me thinks there’s hope I can somehow create my own livelihood.
I’m sorry to say this, but I just hope there’s an afterlife that’s better than this one because I really feel that I was born in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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i feel the exact same way i cant seem to fit in
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wow, i can relate to many of these comments, but this one about gave me the chills. I have stated a couple times that I felt like I didnt belong in this time. I do feel very out of place, and I get speechless on how materialistic people can be. Sometimes I actually believe that I may have been reincarnated from an earlier time. A simpler time. If i were to wake up from this coma and suddenly be on the set of little house on the praire, I think i would feel at home. What if INFP’s are just the people that have some sort of residual connection to a past life? Have any of you been labeled “psychic” or how ever you spell it, by friends and family? I don’t think I’m psychic but I have noticed I am more easily aware of things that most people arent. But I do have occasional eerie dreams that come true. Plus, I did have a near death experience when I was a young teenager and I have seen the “light” or “tunnel”. I wonder if that has anything to do with it. So, I guess I am wondering if any others have this sort of thing going on. Perhaps I am just an even wierder subdivison of INFP’s.
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Yes, I think that there’s a correlation between INFP and psychic ability.
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Beth, I can really relate to your comment. Although I don’t think I am “psychic” but I do feel as though I am aware of things that other people aren’t. I have had a couple odd experiences in dreams… This may sound crazy, and it probably is, but I have had a couple of dreams from the deceased. And I feel as though they are messages. In one instance my Grandpa wanted to show me what his heaven was like. I couldn’t go out into it, but I could see it from a tunnel. It was very odd, because his heaven was black and white and yet colorful… Some of the waterfalls were in color and others weren’t. I’ve never had a dream like that.
Also, this is random, but if you ever want to read a book who’s main character is an INFP, read Anne of Green Gables. I instantly fell in love with this book! Anne is awesome. She has such an appreciation for beauty, imagination, and naming things (I have a passion for naming things for some reason).
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I am so glad (in a relateable way) to hear this.
I have had the same experience with working. I try to lead by example and be happy in the work place and try to make others happy, and sometimes get treated as if i’m not working!
Because I’m happy and encouraging to people?!
It’s like people want you to be cranky & miserable & stressed at work, and if you’re not, you must just be lazy, or not working.
It’s bullshit.
Lately I’ve really been thinking about going back to school to be a Psychologist or Psychiatrist. I’d really like to, or to be a Make-Up Artist. But it seems like a dream. A far unreachable dream.
I’m tired of people trying to mold me into something they want me to be.
I’d love to go live on a deserted beautiful Tropical Island.
I hope the afterlife is better than this too.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Steph, I totally agree with you!! I told my kids I was going to a deserted island and my daughter asked… what island can you go to that no one knows about? I said the kind that you end up on accidentally after a shipwreck. Who needs a job if you can self-sustain?!? Would be awesome! …if life were really that easy…
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I am astonished at how closely this post mirrors my feelings and thoughts about careers and the choices involved. Most of the comments already say what I have to say so I won’t fill up space repeating a lot of what has already been written. Suffice to say that I am no longer willing to do what others tell me to do and at the age of 51 I am finally examining what i feel passionate about and want to aim towards.
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I totally know where all of you are coming from iv just discovered im an INFP, and im always looking for something to make me feel as if i belong, i feel as if i need to find out who i am… so its been great discovering so many people are on the same page as me!! iv had so many ideas that have failed, or iv given up on, or not pursued and alot of jobs that were “just until i figure out what i want to do”… but that hasnt happened yet!
Lately iv been trying to figure out what exactly is stoping me and others from doing something we would actualy enjoy and would hopefully make us happy, all i can come up with so far, is that it seems to be a real problem with believing in ourselves, i know i really struggle with this – i get an idea like starting my own cafe, or becoming an interior designer, or event decorator and it just never happens because i dont fully believe in myself that i am capable, or that it will be the right thing for me. Its hard to get though the steps towards your “picture” when you dont know if it will work out, and sure enough… if you dont believe you cant receive what it is you were hoping for.
Lots of things can stop you like putting your family first, people telling you your a dreamer or unrealistic, so it makes it seriously hard to beleive, i like to keep the peace in my world so im the one who always steps down and quietly i feel like a failure..
Im trying to focus on beleiving in myself and i “Beleive” it will help
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Hey Jo! I agree with you. A lack of belief in yourself, and wanting to make OTHER people happy (like your parents) are big reasons behind the question of “why.” I also think we were probably babied as children and not taught to “suck it up” and fight through the hard spots in life. The truth is that everything has difficulties. Whenever I run into a difficulty, I move to the easiest thing in my head or concoct a new idea to distract myself. It’s annoying as hell, but as I get older, I find things that I’m passionate about, learn to use my voice (my physical voice), learn to fight for what I believe in and learn to stick to things even when the going gets tough. The biggest problem is that I want to have these skills NOW, but they take years to get ahold of.
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Hey! I relate to what you said! I still don’t know what kind of career I want, too. But I like knowing there are others out there like me.
I just wanted to share a quote with you, it helps me sometimes. “Your desire for success must be greater than your fear of failure.”- Bill Cosby.
My father is the critical type, so I’ve always been criticized and I was taught that mistakes were BAD. So, to avoid failures and mistakes, I do not attempt anything. But, I realized that mistakes are a learning experience.. That I just have to accept and move on. It’s hard to, because I am too hard on myself, but that’s all I can really do.
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I am an INFP. I like art, dreaming and fantasizing, but I’m also interested in people and how they think. I enjoy psychology a lot. So, maybe I’ll do some form of psychology, like an art therapist. Also, I like dogs, and I’d like to learn sign language, but I don’t know how I could mix all of those into one, haha.
Anyway, for those of you who want some career ideas, I saw that most INFPs could be in Occupational Therapy, Speech Pathologist, or teaching.
Also, if you want to read a book about a main character who is an INFP, read Anne of Green Gables. I really related to her character very well, and it’s now my favorite book.
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WOW. I don’t remember writing that. I must have been sleep walking, and wrote this incredible post about myself being an INFP, and signed someone else’s name to it.
This is quite remarkable, finding this website, and reading the thoughts of so many people that appear to be my clones in almost every deep emotional detail. This is too good of a discovery (this INFP Community) to let go to waste. I should do something with this.
How often do we all say “I should”?
… speaking of INFP “Community”… I wonder what kind of actual community we would make. What would it be like to interact exclusively with people who understand where you’re coming from? I feel a kinship. Could we run the logistics of a community? I bet some among us could. Would we get along? I’m thinking we would. I don’t get along with a lot of people… but that’s because we mostly have different values and ethics. I suspect that woudn’t be a problem among us as a group. Is this particular connecting thread… this 5% of Americans… the critical thread that allows harmony?
I’m going out on a limb here… please no one take offense… but… I’m going to predict that few if any of us are die-hard conservatives. Am I correct? I’ve often wondered how conservatives and liberals are wired differently. I hope no one starts a political discussion. I’ll avoid that like the plague. Just wondering about the brain thing.
Back to the community… and that kinship… I have visited a lot of online forums over the years, and am generally pretty horrified at how people treat each other. It gets old, trying to defend someone who is getting treated unfairly, and then getting attacked for defending them and being accused of being thin-skinned. There is always some jag-off that’s throwing personal insults around of one type or other. Bashing this stranger, ganging up on that person, etc. I don’t even sense the smallest bit of boorishness in any one of these posts. Could that mean something? It’s really quite refreshing! We might tick off some people in the world (often because of our particular brand of values, I’m guessing), but if we are all the same kind of odd-ball…. hmmmmm….
Okay. Who is going to start INFP, Inc? I’m in! Would be an interesting experiment.
Perhaps we should start smaller; like a few beers at a bar. I wonder how that evening’s conversation would go. Any of you near Phoenix?
INFPs ROCK! \\m//
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
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I’m in Phoenix Stepan
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Hey… I’m a conservative INFP!
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What I will say though is that it is hard to be a conservative INFP, but having been on both sides before… and growing up in southern California, I believe conservatism is the truth. Is this because we as INFPs are contrarian? Maybe a little, but the fact is the truth is somewhere in between, and we probably identify with the “underdog” ideology. And one more thing: Being conservative does not mean being racist, homophobic, for the rich, or whatever else liberals say about us. I’m conservative in the way that I believe people should be rewarded for their hard work, and for taking chances in their lives. What if artists and musicians were taxed into oblivion for being “rich”? Business people are the same. It’s not fair to take something from someone else and give it to someone who didn’t work for it in my opinion. Success should be rewarded and failure should be punished. Plus I find it too hard to be a liberal because they are so cynical, and I’m a faithful person. (This is just a little peek into the mind of a conservative INFP haha. I’m a minority within a minority.)
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I’m a liberal 100%. I was babied as an only child. Don’t know if there are similarities in that. Yea. I think we need each other. There are not many of us out there. Thanks for these post.
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I post on PerC but missed this post. It is very good & really hits on the key points concerning common needs of the INFP in a job, and where some seemingly good fits for a career can actually fall short.
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Wow! I just stumbled across this post as I was making a last-ditch effort to decide whether to sign up for a public relations diploma program at the local university. I work full-time for the government which is about as opposite as it gets when it comes to careers that are compatible with INFP’s. I need to work though to pay bills and indulge my passion for travel and learning more languages. I already speak 5 languages just for fun, you’d think I would have found a way to make money with that knowledge by now but I haven’t.
Would public relations allow me to be as creative as I want, travel and write and follow my dreams and ideologies? I think it could be creative if I find the right job. Then again, I’d like to be able to do my job from nothing more than a laptop from anywhere in the world (sigh). I do love to write as well. Any ideas, anyone? When it comes to ideas, at least I know I’m asking the right people.
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Umm why don’t you become a travel writter? Traveling, writting, doing your own thing? I know easier said then done but still..
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This is a late reply, sorry!
There are some companies that don’t pay for your writing, but they will provide you with perks in exchange for your write up. Some perks include free music, free entrance to music venues, free cruises, free entrance to music festivals and sometimes free or partial payment for world travel to cover music festivals.
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You could try pitching a pilot for a reality TV series about travel. You being the talent would give you the freedom to write the script for the show, if there is a scrip, and let your creativeness shine. Creative is entertaining, and that is a job in the entertainment industry.
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I tried PR & Marketing for a little while… even as a slightly-more-extroverted INFP, those fields are still MUCH too extroverted for me. You really have to spend a lot of time networking and cozying up to people so they can do favors for you in the future. Bleh!
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This article described me totally. And people don’t ‘get’ us or they tell us to face reality…”there is no perfect job”. I was a stay-at-home mom for 20 years and that was definitely the best fit for me. Now last child is almost off to college and besides helping out an aging parent a few times a week, I need a flexible part-time job from home to bring in a little money and give me a focus other than my kids. I have several hobbies that I enjoy, but none that I can make any money at. I am just glad to know that there are other people like me out there, and that this is just how we are wired…not lazy or stupid.
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Study computer programming and work for Google.
They encourage creativity (even have days just to stop and think of something new and creative), the workers are valued, their work matters and changes things and often helps people (though more often indirectly) AND you get to work at the googleplex… however it would be extremely difficult to get there.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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I’ve just discovered I’m INFP and I’ve been looking for suitable job ‘matches’ for myself as the children are heading off to uni this year and next. I’ve always wanted a meaningful career but somehow never found my place in the world. Over the years I’ve tried different jobs but haven’t really fitted in and made the progress I might have done if I’d been interested enough to take the opportunities that presented themselves. I’ve been a stay-at-home mum for the last 18 years and that suited me – I loved doing things with the children and organising my day. I’ve had the time and energy to indulge my own small interests: gardening, reading enlightening books, watering my houseplants, feeding the birds, cooking and baking, listening to R4, cycling and walking in the beautiful countryside here. Whilst being a hands-on parent I spent three years doing an English lit. degree, took an IT course and done voluntary work in a school, college and library. I’ve found that this pottering kind of life style suits me best. Now though it’s time to get a proper job so I can pay the bills. My application forms are good and thoughtful but I fail to impress when employers meet me!
I feel that everyone’s comments ring so true for me. Working for something I believe worthwhile is crucial. I feel I can’t waste my life pushing paper around for no other purpose than receiving a salary. A pleasing environment (home preferably)is important as I find ugliness depressing. I’m no good at saying what people want to hear and while I care for humanity’s welfare I find it hard to deal with people on a day to day basis. I can only love and care for a few.
I’d love a job where I can think for myself, be creative, get totally involved and feel I’m making a difference. Further training is probably needed but I can’t afford it!
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This article is very interesting and explains a lot about my work history as an INFP. My chosen profession as a home birth midwife fits most of the criteria the writer mentions. Interaction with a small number of people on a personal and meaningful level, completely aligned with my values and the intimate care of women and babies with an autonomous schedule (except for births!) felt very right and comfortable, yet I was having a difficult time marketing myself (now I know why!!) and had to get a “real” job. Currently my job is an 80% fit with the criteria above. I work for a law firm as a sort of legal secretary/accountant and although the job itself requires SJ skills, my work is self regulated, I have incredible flex time, the company is very small and has a cooperative atmosphere. My personal space is creative and inspirational and I can listen to any kind of music, drink a cup of tea and basically work at my own pace with little interruption and can take a break whenever I feel like it. I switched to working only 30 hours a week last year which has freed up my time for other creative pursuits – and my boss doesn’t care if i am a few minutes late here and there. This job came to me in a time where i was in need (i NEVER would have chosen this career path) and after evaluating it, I see why I have been there over two years.
The downside is that there is a lot of math, email communication and organizational details which, admittedly, are not my strong points and my values are not reflected in my work, but for now I will take it. I am sure that some day I will go back to midwifery, but for now all is good, so don’t be afraid to try something new and trust that it may be in a place you NEVER expected! Peace 
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I am also an INFP type who is a homebirth midwife. Your post was interesting.
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So refreshing to read all these great comments from like-minded people! Have known I’m an INFP for years, and six months ago found an almost perfect volunteer job for me – sewing costumes for a theatre company. (Only one snag, the sewing room was right underneath the rehearsal studio. Herd of elephants, anyone?) Sadly, two weeks after I started, the February Christchurch earthquake hit, and the theatre company was left without a building. Oh well, at least I got some great experience out of it. Once all my kids are school age, will probably do the same sort of thing again, for as long as I want, anyway.
The longest job I’ve ever held down was eight months at a rest home – big mistake! Everything had to be exactly the same, week after week. Then just as I was getting to know someone, they’d die and I’d get horribly depressed. Thankfully, my husband saw me spiralling down and kicked my behind until I handed in my notice.
I’ve discovered I can only stay in one job for six months at most, then I have to quit or move onto another one. I actually kind of like being able to try something new for a while, then take the skills I’ve picked up to the next one. I just take care not to tell my employers this!
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I am so happy to have found this and yet disturbed too regarding how long I’ve felt out of touch with most people, reality, feeling alienated out of an incurable need for romanticism and perfectionism, and then feeling I was defective.
I studied philosophy, then acting, worked in nonprofit, went to film school, and made a short film and wrote music. I am restlessly learning things and they are quite satisfying but the moment I think of practical matters, I am a deer in the headlights. I started studying stenography this past January, which has been surprisingly very enjoyable and offers me a sense of grounding between art projects, doesn’t require so much politics, has independence, security, etc. It’ll take me a few years, but I think it’ll be worth the wait. I can’t imagine having to do another administrative job, it is so underappreciated and meaningless at times.
I totally feel lost every now and again, but I’d really encourage everyone to pursue their creativity relentlessly in a few and specific things until it feels a bit painful and then take a break and then come back to it to push even further. I often get complaints from all of my closest friends, ‘what will she do next, who knows?’ I am beginning to embrace this. I am not a quitter, I am just insatiably curious! *Sigh* I wish I could make others understand.
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So im in my late 20′s and a bit concerned. Ive known that I was a INFP for quite a while, but now recently its set in more than before. I have a B.A in History and im currently in gradschool for my Master’s in Special Education. Im in my first semester and im not feeling it anymore, I have straight A’s but I dont think im going back in the spring. I left a job working over the summer for a bank to pursue this career, but it’s just not me. Im not sure what to do, I seem to not be happy pursuing any career. I get that quote, empty feeling with almost any pursuit of a career or thinking about a career. I think mabye I should consider History again, but that seems only like a knee jerk reaction….any advice? I suppose reading too much philosophy and Nietzsche as an undergrad didnt help….
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I totally relate Ian, I read too much Nietzsche too. I think the best thing to do is not feel bad about it. We’re supposed to try and fail and keep trying. Try to keep an open mind and keep looking at other career options. I went to grad school for a year, it was expensive, it wasn’t for me. I left. In hindsight, I didn’t know for sure that it was for me, but I wanted to try. The tendency for me is to make a decision now, sort it out now, but with a little patience, it would have been better to delay any big decisions and sit with anxiety before acting on it. Hope this helps.
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How uncanny, I love Nietzsche too! But I can never spell his name!
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Hey! I’m about the same age as you are and just left my 3rd “career”; each one having absolutely nothing to do with the one before. Try to be patient, and just explore and experiment… I think for us, it takes longer but we’ll find our way in the world eventually =) Just always remember that you’re a really special and rare type. Don’t ever feel bad for being different. INFPs are ugly ducklings, but when we blossom we do it BIG time.
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Totally relate to this. I studied History as an undergrad straight after leaving school. I graduated at 21, am now 25 and have had dozens of completely unrelated and unfulfilling jobs. Just recently, I quit my job as a researcher in London (was working for a very corporate target driven firm and felt utterly stifled, compromised and undervalued) and have moved back in with my parents for the third time since graduating. Oh the frustration of being an INFP!
Now I’m at a bit of a loose end as to what to do next but I love to write, think, read and compose music. If only there were a way to make some money out of this….
To those around me, my decisions seem erratic and illogical. People always tell me to focus on my career but I can’t help thinking there must be something more to life than this. Each of us has only one life to live and the thought of spending mine behind a desk doing someone else’s trivial and essentially pointless ‘work’ feels like some kind of defeat to me.
I guess the problem is not necessarily ‘us’ no matter how often we may feel this to be the case. The problem, instead, is a reflection of our misguided society which mindlessly pushes on into the future chasing targets and chasing profit without a second thought as to where it is all heading. The world is in need of INFPs now more than ever, yet our skills and strengths continue to be overlooked and undervalued.
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Guys, I think we need to put some resources together, as to how we can help each other, from posts to links to articles to books, to some words of inspirations, as it seems that even if we know that we are INFP it does not help in resolving the “dilemma” as stated above. Sometimes knowing something is just the beginning. We all have something in common, and then we all have our own paths and lifestyles, and cultures, and even languages. This article also outlines a lot of what I am going through or how I feel inside, but its nothing new to me, in a sense of finding the “right balance”. We all can write, and imagine, and encourage and see the world more positive and give ourselves for projects and ideas and values.. But we could also criticize and analyze, and work with content better then others can. Let’s start at least some way to share what we are reading and some comments on that, and what is a life situation and where we need some encouragement, and sense of direction. Where can we start?
I am reading: How to make Ideas Happen by Scott Belsky.
http://www.amazon.com/Making-Ideas-Happen-Overcoming-Obstacles/dp/159184312X
I think its 100% about us.
He has a few websites for Creative Minds.
http://www.scottbelsky.com/
( I am not associated with this site )
There are other books and articles one could read.
Such as on the subject of “Peter Pan Syndrome”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puer_aeternus
which can get you into Depth Psychology.
For me, through out the years I found that “some day” I might want to become or have: A music producer, a Jungian Analyst, an Advertising Agency, a Life Coach, a Business Improvement Center, and so on..
If anybody is interested in continuing these conversation, we should do it more often, and have some chats, and even meetings.
There is http://www.meetup.com
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Dimitri, ask and you shall receive!
I’ve started a resource thread with you as the inspiration.
Of course, I also intend for this website to be a resource. So if you feel it’s lacking in some way, tell me what I can do! I’m a GOOD LISTENER
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i was thinking of that meetup thing too. i have never been able to relate to others before!
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One feature of INFPness is the ability to see both sides of any argument. It has gotten me into trouble on many occasions and here I am doing it again. Many people here have talked about how their creative ideas have come to nothing. I sympathise but it reminds me of the saying that success is 20% inspiration, 80% perspiration. (I think I may have the numbers wrong but what do we care? – the point is obvious).
Years ago I remember reading that INFPs can be indulgent of self and others. Be honest; isn’t there a bit of that going on here? Wanting everything to go your way? Maybe its a response to the fact that it feels like nothing is going your way, and I can understand that but Mike (INFP Careers) is right, we have to toughen up – just a bit – otherwise you’ll get to the end of your life and regret that you did nothing worthwhile with it.
Dimitri, thanks for your very positive contribution.
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Helen,
I definitely see a desire to avoid things that are difficult in myself and young INFPs. Ideas are great because they’re easy! I can always see what I want to happen brilliant detail. But when I try to bring that idea into reality, I find that there are a lot of difficulties. So I quit. I think it has a lot to do with the way I was (and I’d guess all of us were) brought up.
INFPs greatest assets are their empathetic natures, their intelligence and their creativity. Their greatest weaknesses are their lack of endurance, willingness to give up too soon, and beliefs that they should be happy all the time and get whatever they want.
Most of my 20′s were spent figuring out how to get past my weaknesses and dealing with having to make things happen within the confines of reality. It was a huge chunk of my life and it was extremely painful. But now that I’m through it, life is good. I’m happy and it was so worth it. I just wish I came to grips with all of this stuff 10 or 15 years ago.
I also notice a lot of self indulgence in myself and other INFPs. It’s funny; we care so deeply about other people but then focus all of our energy on our inner worlds and our own problems. That’s self indulgence in a nutshell. Having a family and a wife to kick my butt is the only thing that’s been able to help me. But in hindsight, volunteering and helping other people in need would have filled a similar need. I needed a purpose. I was too self consumed to notice that.
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You are so correct! I have been fighting myself since my teens. I’m 32 now and have finally realized my self-pity and lack of follow-through only hurts me. The only time anything good happens in my life is when I bare down and stick with my goal.
I am so tempted to jump ship when things get a tad unpleasant. It helps me to realize that I will always find fault with a less-than-perfect situation (which is basically *every* situation in life) and think “the grass is greener.” This obviously doesn’t apply to situations where you are truly miserable. I changed majors a zillion times, and looking back, I realize I could have found my niche in almost any one of those.
Good luck, fellow INFPs … It is up to you to realize you are awesome and deserve success in this world.
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Thanks Erin! Really needed that and all the other posts. I am truly dealing with a career change and trying to get out of my present job. I am so drained. I know whenever I put my mind to something I can get it done. Lately I haven’t felt that way. But I have to do something so I won’t continue to get more and more depressed.
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I just want to comment so bad, even though I don’t have anything to say. I mirror this dilemma, and I’m so encouraged to read that others also relate to this. I am a stay at home mom, and I enjoy that very much. However, I am unhappy, partly because I am having trouble with believing in God anymore. I am terribly afraid that I’m going to go to hell because of that. Feels so good to type this out. I don’t know what I want, but I feel like I have no compass anymore. I used to sing in college, and I miss that. I miss foreign languages, but i am so undisciplined. i don’t know if I should daily practice my languages, or music, or maybe start writing. If I attempt to get better at writing, maybe one day that would be a career possibility? I’m waking up from dreamland. I know I have to do SOMETHING in this life. Death awaits. I must influence the world….lol I know I am so overdramatic….someone please tell me they understand, it would be so wonderful thank you!
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I am a teacher’s assistant at a progressive school with small class sizes and soothing environment. Summers off and the ability to live nearly stress-free, no homework, and ‘option’ to offer skills in the classroom as desired. Not bad, really. Maybe doesn’t sound all that amazing, as ones pride likes to sound important, but in practice it is really a nice fit.
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Looking at this post and the responses, my perception and belief towards being an INFP is finally getting strengthened. It is an overwhelming feeling to know that you are not alone in this world.
I have always been perplexed and confused about the existential question that has often haunted me throughout my life. What am I doing and why I am doing this?
In my late 20′s now and striving to find a career that I presume should put an end to all the dilemmas I have been through.
I have already attained a unique combination of degrees and ending up being what is highly unlikely career choice for an INFP (I realized this just a month back). I am a practicing advocate!!!! Since it is just the first step I have taken in the profession, my INFPness is taking me over and after a lot of research on the internet I have come down to the career choice that could possible give me a reason to work. All the resources on the internet say that INFP’s make effective legal mediators. The field requires creativity, empathy and everything that an INFP values (of course the monetary aspect is an issue). Since I have not gained any practical experience in the field of mediation yet, there are certain issues I need to look after. The major one being an assurance and self belief that this would be the right career choice for me.
If anyone from the Universal Brotherhood of INFP’s concurs to my thoughts, I am open to suggestions, discussions and guidance.
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I have to agree with so many of the other comments on here, sounds like I WROTE THIS about ME! It’s so very reassuring to know there are so many other, well-adjusted, struggling, happy, interesting people out there. Thank you all.
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This site is quite an eye opener. There I was thinking that I am the only confused person out there, and its so reassuring to see that there are other ‘likeminded’ people. I’m in my mid thirties, trained in environmental sciences, and have worked over the years with data analysis, policy making, the government sector.
And yet here I am, knowing that deep down this is not what I was meant to do. Thinking back the most fun I had in my career was when I was working on a project which was a balance between doing scientific analysis and running local community projects. Not the greatest pay but surrounded by a great bunch of people and a fair bit of autonomy i.e. project set up, devising own methodologies, lesson plans in schools, creating teaching materials, and time inside and outside the office. There was plenty of scope for being creative and active, and best of all get a sense of doing something meaningful. The project came to an end and I moved on, but the fact remains that working at a more senior level on office based projects, including all the office politics, has proven to be dull…..I just can’t seem to get motivated. I ended my last contract six months ago to take a ‘sabbatical’ with the hope of getting ‘inspired’ for a new career path. Not surprisingly the long awaited ‘epiphany’ just hasn’t happened. I seem to be going from one idea to the next one. Looking at the list of suitable careers for INFPs I feel I could consider doing most of them, but which one to go for? I have long been thinking of doing an MBA, mainly because it seems like the most logical thing to do in my career progression…..and yet I just can’t seem to be able to really go for it. I guess deep down I know there must be something more fulfilling out there……perhaps not particularly lucrative but something that would make me feel like a more complete person.
Thanks for starting this great forum. Just what I needed.
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Hi
You should try your hands on teaching and training other people who are interested in your field. Imparting your knowledge for others benefit could prove to be a great satisfaction for us INFP’s.
Cheers!!!
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This describes exactly me, its crazy! I’m only 16, but I feel like I have matured faster than other children my age. I love classical music, reading, writing, and sometimes I get so deeply involved in my own head that I forget what is going on around me. I’m a junior in highschool and trying to find out what I should do with my life. I would love to be in holistic health or a professor or a writer or something creative, but I also want to feel like I’m making a difference in the world. Plus, how secure is holistic medicine or writing? A professor is idealistic but college kids minds are very closed off; they already have their own opinions, and no way would I ever go back to highschool, junior high, or elementary school. Anyways, what you said about not necessarily wanting to work in a service career was spot on! I never even realized until I read that. I know that I want to join the Peace Corps, but what do I do after that??
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Hi!
Wow, thank you for this post! It seems that career plans are extremely difficult for us INFPs… Myself I have a M.Sc. in Business Administration and worked for a non-profit for 3 years (good years but very very tough for empathetic me) and then I have spent almost 7 years with an airline. I am currently head of sales in a country in Asia. Not exactly the advice you would give an INFP, eh. So of course I need to change jobs. But I have to take it slow. I also realize what a lot of you guys touch upon above, that we INFPs dream too much! We need to learn how to act, else we have no impact! So I started my private project and blog to turn my dreams into actions: http://www.dreamersbehinddesks.com. I think many INFPs might recognize themselves…
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A year ago I did my first personality test with a result of being INFJ, yet I didn’t take that seriously and left it to dust. Recently, however I was guided back to online personality tests (Kind thanks to my career guidance adviser) due to issues with studying BSc in Accounting & Finance which I have found overwhelming.
After several tests on various websites and extensive research I am now confident to say that I am another INFP person.
I was struggling with my career direction, personality and life in general for many years. While reading articles, blogs, and comments I have found very useful information that is helping to learn more about myself, my relation to others and see patterns that will lead to a better future.
I was astonished by everyone’s’ experiences, life stories, values… It was like finding enormous amounts of resources that were written for me or by me.. It is difficult to explain that strange feeling.
Before I go to take a nap I wish you all to succeed in whatever path you will pursue, stay strong, do not let others use you and enjoy life
Sincere regards,
Egidijus (Ed.)
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Hey very cool website!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds also�I’m happy to find so many useful info here in the post, we need develop more strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .
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Perfect analysis! I agree. That is me!
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I love you all so much you don’t even know. I have fought and struggled so much to live in the world everyone calls “the real world”. All it has done is hurt me to no end. I’m a scorpio, an INFP, male, pushing 40 now. When I was a kid, I loved talking to people and sharing stories. I loved to read, but didn’t really do it other than something to do. I loved to read the dictionary and loved words to no end. I loved to understand, realize, and grow. I started working on computers in a graphics sense. I loved to play games. Eventually, I left computers in my early teens, and started playing music. I then wrote more and more but because of bad parents, and a deep depression, as I felt like no one around me, I became more of an outcast. So I embraced my outcastdome and really let myself go weird I suppose as a way to spit in the face of the mainstream. I continued to write and play music. I wanted so much to let my heart love, but it’s not really the way of the real world or the masculine world. So I kept it to myself. At 18, I was on the street, and had to fend for myself. So I took whatever jobs I could, and just tried to survive. At 21, I got into computers and spent 7 years working and studying them. Then I finally got into repair, and technical work for 4.5 years. I loved working on PCs and doing more of the graphics and video which is why I liked them to begin with. After going thru some really bad things in my life, lost a 4 year old child in my 20s, and got divorced at 29/30 from my soul mate love because I couldn’t have kids, I was utterly devastated. I finally got fired from my job for not being productive enough. Well, let me just say this to that company, hey, eff you, I’m a human being, not a number on your freaking financial spreadsheet. Talk about dehumanizing. God!!! Save these morons. lol
Anyway, after so many issues, I finally began to rebuild myself. In my early 20s before I got into computers as a day to day living, I started to fall in love with nutrition and diet. But got side tracked with my lover and eventual wife. And thinking I was going the family route, I gave up my dreams, and just wanted these people to love. After that all ended, I began to reinvent myself. I actually got really healthy after working with natural doctors and physical therapists and trainers to understand why my body was so out of whack. Well, I didn’t explain that I was up to 282 lbs, and was having grand mal seizures. These seizures weren’t neurological tho, they were hypoglycemic, diabetic related. Once I found this out, I began experimenting with diet. This lead me with the weight training I had learned, to get me to 170 lbs, and a 31.5 inch waist and be in the best shape of my life.
However, before all this, I did have 2 other very hard I.T. computer jobs that I eventually got fired from because of the numbers game. I don’t even want to talk about the pain and self doubt I went through.
Ok, I realize this isn’t in chronological order… But, I did fall in love again. With a close friend who was absolutely beautiful, or so I thought. I won’t get too into this, but they eventually turned on me, as I’ve realized how different we actually are. Yes, I so do love them, but they don’t love me and don’t understand me at all. My ex wife is more of a good friend and understands me, lol. But I won’t go back although she admits to the myriad of mistakes in our relationship. She sadly can’t take care of herself, and is very poor at managing money that just caused us more and more financial and emotional ruin. I don’t blame her, but there are some areas of my life that I am in better control of without her. I love her, but after all we went through, my life is much saner and calmer now, and I won’t trade my personal peace for anything.
I am now a pizza driver, and my boss is a hard driving prick. But man, the gods have shined on me for all the pain I’ve been through. He absolutely loves me and has given me a place to live, and it’s nice, clean, and healthy, but he’s busted his ass and worked damn hard for 40 years. He’s been so good to me, I can’t tell you how lucky I feel today. I scrape by, make everything I can, take computer jobs, do websites, and the like when I can, but I am free. I drive when I have to, and when I don’t I go home and do my thing.
Currently, I am looking into nutrition, diet, personal and physical training, and possibly physical therapy assistant. They make decent money, and the work conditions aren’t too horrible, and it’s a 2 year degree which really isn’t a long time. Yes, I went to school for computer science. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it, and just went cause I got into program and it was useful to some degree. I’ve been writing all my life. I’ve been playing guitar since 13. I’ve been loving for eternity. Now, I’m in average shape, I eat right, and know how to eat. I have sweet new friends. My ex wife and I are good friends. My new lover and friend of over 5 years and 15 respectively is a strong person and has taught me alot, but we are not alike. Still, I love them, and now, I am looking to writing, everything and anything really… My heart is as big as the sun, and luckily, someone was able to see that. I am very much planning physical therapy assistant, dietician, personal fitness consultant. I’ve actually begun writing a health and weight loss book that contains my story. Not advertising it, it’s no where near done, lol. I still love music and still play. I still love god, love, words, music, health, writing, computers for web and graphics, repair and tech to a degree, and most of all my freedom to do and live as I see fit, for me, not for the company who makes me a slave 8 hours a day doing something I hate. I know we all need money, and I absolutely hate money. If anyone feels or hears these words I put forth, see a movie called ZeitGeist, moving forward. That movie really blew my mind. I found myself saying, YES! THAT’S HOW IT SHOULD BE! I only hope people see how important love, knowledge, and creativity, learning, and growing really are. Money is the most retarded thing I’ve ever seen, and is no measure of a human beings worth, that’s sick. All it does it make people fight and war over resources that we should all have equally. No one should go without, but our money and society creates a hierarchy that leads us to spit on each other because I am better than you, or you think you are better because you have money, status, whatever, etc. My dear sweet world, you can’t take it with you. Love and knowledge are all that matter to me. Not to say I don’t appreciate differences, but that also means you should respect how I feel as well. But it doesn’t seem you do.
Anyway, just wanted to share. I read peoples post, and I have been researching me, and my personality more and more. The more I read about INFPs, the more I realize and see and feel like I’m finally home.
kkallenborn@comcast.net
feel free to chat with me. I’d love to help if I can. I am looking for someone to work on my book and do research with me to make it the best possible. I live in the near west suburbs of chicago.
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i have been a passionate advocate of personality profiling such as Myers Briggs and am proud to be an INFP. I am pleased that I have Ben moderately successful in my hospitality career and have been able to enjoy creative expression in music, photography and writing, some of which I have even incorporated into my career path. but in general terms, I agree that INFPs are not well regarded as leaders in corporate America. Our sensitivity can be perceived as softness and we generally shy away from conflict. I know that I get bored easily and yet I do enjoy new and different activities, perhaps as a distraction from the more mundane aspects of life or work.
I find many of these comments to be extremely insightful and would love to live and work in a community where more of us exist!
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maybe we should create an infp work agency and pick up the pieces for each other. i worked in a high pressured office environment for 7 years – which happily meant 7 years mortgage repayment but it nearly killed me physically and psychologically. i have reorganised my life to have less financial needs because the demands of ‘work’ i find to be too high. i’m planning on a portfolio career – i play classical guitar, have good IT skills, speak French, can teach a little, can write also. I’d like to be a freelancer but thats quite hard also for an INFP – self promotion etc. but im looking to get some help on that front. I would also like to retrain as a counsellor (typical INFP!). I think not putting all eggs in one highly frustrating basket is the way forward. i would be really interested to communicate with other INFPs also finding career/life hard. It seems like the personality type that needs most peer support. I used to drink alot but that really doesn’t help!!
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wow, good job suffering through the years at the yuck job! I hope you figure out something that is more relaxing and encouraging to your soul.
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…incidentally, i moved to Sweden 4 months ago. The UK is not very INFP at all but Sweden is!!
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any idea on Italy and/or Spain?
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This all sounds very familiar to me as well. I’ve often thought I was crazy. I just don’t get the collective consciousness of the mainstream it just seems bizarre. Especially the way it is unquestioned and blindly followed. I could never stay in so called proper jobs for too long the whole dehumanization of it all and hierarchical structures would just make me crazy ,too much cortisol in the bloodstream. I also had this overwhelming feeling that it I stayed in a particular loathsome position I would get stuck there a bit like walking into a cage blindly and the door been locked while you weren’t looking (the bars been made of new financial obligations/ spending power……) Also the fear of becoming institutionalized by the position of employee with it’s illusion of security /regular pay check ,hamsters wheel routine.
Does been infp make you crazy or does been crazy make you infp?
After many years of pain /I’ll be 40 in a few years/ I left the “sell your granny culture” of my country of birth and get by as a solo musician which is my calling/passion in life. Self promotion is a problem as most people on the circuit are extrovert entertainer types and taking the talk seems to get you pretty far in this game . There’s all the back stabbing and competitiveness that this kind of thing attracts. I have no part of this though I turn up to the gig, do my thing, exchange pleasantries with people, get paid, go home. I decide what I play and how I play it. I try to meet in the middle what I like and what the audience likes . I have finally found a life I can stand, I don’t mind getting out of bed there is no alarm clock dictator anymore. There is absolutely no security but it keeps complacency at bay. Some months your up others down but it seems more real to me than the regular pay check. Also the money is earned doing something I love so I’m not simply exchanging the hours of my life for paper to buy stuff I don’t really need. I just don’t buy stuff unless it’s necessary (do i need it or do i just want it?)
My heart goes out to all you infps there’s not many places for us in this manufactured world. Just don’t contrive yourself fit ,your not supposed to.
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First comment in the string from someone happy doing what you’re doing. I’m glad because solo musician is what I have settled on as well. I’ve just recently been diagnosed as an INFP and I think that’s a lucky thing. Not knowing has made it much easier to grind out the careers I’ve done to build the skills to get along in this world. If I had known early on I might have gotten stuck in the cycle of searching for perfection expecting it was possible and missed the journey.
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“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”
Jiddu Krishnamurti
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I found this site the other day… and I am really appreciating its content… this article was very encouraging
… I truely feel like others DO understand after spending so many years being told ‘I make no sense’ (and being made to feel like I am crazy or unstable – but knowing I’m not)… I do sense that I may be a little more ‘left brained’ than some of my counterparts – I have the ability to call upon a very logical and organized side of myself when necessary – but generally I keep her locked in the attic…
I have the money fight with myself often as I don’t care about money but can’t exist without it… I caught myslef saying “check” after each point in the article and nearly applauded when I read the part Projects not Hours – I can’t express how much I hate pretending to work when there is nothing to do…
I also had two of my daughters take the personality test and my youngest [12yrs] is also an INFP – I am hoping I can gain insight to help her so her life isn’t as frustrating… (the other is an ESFJ [14yrs] – just the thought of trying to keep up with her makes me feel drained but thats another challenge for another day)
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I’m an INFP and working at a small library as a librarian, and I love it. I’m an introvert, yes, but still enjoy helping the patrons however I can. There aren’t too many co-workers, and the ones that I do have, I like. There are certain routines, yes, but I get to do a variety of things so it’s never dull, and displays etc. allow me to use my creative side. Also, steady income (although not much) if you can get work in the field.
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I moved into librarianship in my 40s after having been a SAHM. I also enjoy it, but the author’s comment “We do usually care about others and enjoy showing our care, but we are still introverts and we don’t generally like a lot of shallow interactions – which means that service jobs may be fullfilling and draining at the same time.” really resonated with me. I always come home from work exhausted & now realize it’s because of all the small talk I have to do throughout the day. Not sure what the answer is, as I can’t imagine not speaking to our patrons.
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cool! I’ve always thought librarians were amazing and under appreciated. I love the idea of being surrounded by books all day. Heavenly. Did you get a degree in the library field?
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Wow. I feel like you were describing my own struggles with finding that perfect career. Fantastic post!
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I am 30 years old and have just decided to quit Nursing School after 3+ semesters. I am an INFP. Like most of you, I have never really held a job for more than 6 months and have tried majoring in more things than I care to mention. I am done trying to meet the status quo and please my parents. I am a musician – it’s what I was put on this planet to do, it makes me happy, and it fills my soul with joy. Whether that means pursuing a Doctorate, playing for nickels on a street corner, or anything in between, I’m not going to fight what I know to be true in my heart any more. I find myself at a strange crossroads in my life, in a strange city, with no real direction at this point. I just wanted to write this as an inspiration to all who read this, INFP or otherwise – life is too short to settle! If you find yourself in an undesirable situation, then change it! Even if you’re still changing right up until the day you day, never stop pursuing happiness and beauty and the things that make life worth living to begin with. Life is hard enough as it is, even without being an INFP – lucky us, we got a double-whammy, but that only means we have to try twice as hard. Stay strong, brothers and sisters – happiness is out there, all you have to do is look.
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Follow your intuition, your heart. If you’re motivated enough, the money will follow. I am glad you made the switch. Life is truly too short, and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so why live it miserably – doing something you absolutely hate?
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I believe this whole-heartedly 100% – intellectually. Now, if I could only believe it in my heart, and believe in myself, I could be on the right path.
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There’s a book I have found to be invaluable to my pursuit of happiness and fulfillment as an INFP, even though I am only 3 chapters in. It speaks directly to what a lot of you mention about a lack of motivation/drive/action/belief in yourself…
Do yourself a favor and check it out… If it helps, great! If not, it still has some worthwhile information that can only benefit.
The Power of Intention, by Dr. Wayne Dyer
Also don’t judge a book by its cover
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and I thought I was just weird all this time.
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I’m really glad I came across this website and read everyone’s comments. I love this “community” feeling. That first post/blog sounded just like me and it’s comforting reading everyone’s responses as I don’t feel so alone or too idealistic. I’m struggling to find my career path. I’ve been in the mortgage industry for over 7 years now and I’m pretty much over it. I can’t stand being micro-managed. I like to get my work done on my own terms. I want to help people but either in a small group or one on one. I don’t like school (papers, deadlines)…so I’m not sure what I can do with just mortgage experience that will make me smile and enjoy my job. I do have my Bachelor’s degree in Psychology but we all know that doesn’t take us very far now days (at least with that major). Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts and show my appreciation to INFP’s!
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This is me!! I very literally could have written this article myself.
I’m looking into filmmaking- as a director. I’m hoping to develop a style that allows me to encourage the creativity in others without having to be a dictator or, like you said- do everything myself.
Thank you for posting this! Now I don’t feel so odd or alone!
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Hello! So happy to have found all of you sisters and brothers here. I love reading your posts, recognizing myself in them, and coming to the realization that I’m not (and you’re not) weird or misunderstood, but deeply and thoroughly amazing!
Love finding you all, best wishes…
I just turned 50, have always understood and liked myself, but have never been able to explain myself or my ideas to anyone. I made my non-INFP husband laugh this morning when I said, “I love the IDEA of working, but not actually working. I love the IDEA of working with people, but not too many or too often.” He is being downsized soon and I am facing returning to a nursing job, which can be really challenging for INFP’s. Am about half-way trained in a holistic healing modality, which feels like the right fit for me–just having trouble with all the business-like details that are involved in starting your own practice. So, here I sit on the internet, “researching” why I can’t handle the business-like details
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Oh boy, so glad to meet so many people like myself!
I’m having a career crisis at the moment at the age of 35, really trying to think of something that will fit my ever changing whims!
I started off working in medical labs. I liked this as I got to do practical stuff all day (I can’t stand to be chained to a desk), I was in charge of all of my own work and there wasn’t a lot of people contact. What I hated was the rigid routine. Doing exactly the same things at exactly the same times year in, year out. It eventually drove me crazy! Another drawback was the ever increasing implementation of policies and regulations. I absolutely hate working to rigid rules and had to leave. Rules are made to be broken
Next I worked in scientific research. That was better. Very flexible timetable, largely left to your own devices and largely alone,a lot of variety, very lax on rules, lots of practical stuff. Trouble was I didn’t really fit among the researchers. I was never that interested in anything to the level I should have been and really struggled with left brained things like maths and complex theory. They all thought I was weird because I liked to make rubber glove animals and have fun. Ultimately not the job for me!
Next, a move into community health promotion. This was great as it allowed me to use my creative side, designing fun presentations and props with no set rules. I was also out somewhere different every day, meeting new people and exploring different and unusual groups and events. Fantastic! The drawback was the amount of social contact, from cold calling and emailing venues and negotiating visits (which I absolutely hated) to doing the events every day. I’m not the greatest verbal communicator and I can be quite shy. I found it quite exhausting at times.
Now unemployed and wondering what to do next. I’d quite like another community based job, but shiver when I see ‘according to policy’ in job descriptions. Urgh!
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Creative careers that allow us to work in our own environments.
At-home: web design. You can set up a website for your company, have customers call you to discuss their web design project, fax and e-mail contracts back and forth, handle the payments online, and deliver the project online. We hate deadlines, so you can set a reasonable deadline that works for you. Take on the projects that aren’t overwhelming, such as 5-paged brochure sites. If you have orders for bigger projects, refer them to someone else and create a contract where they pay you a percentage of the fee they earn.
Interior design: You don’t have to spend a lot of your time with people. You do a majority of your design work alone, and you can set the length of the meetings…you’re in control of the project after all.
Song writer/ Author: Again, you can use your creativity and do most of this with autonomy. Perhaps you’ll need a benefactor for this one.
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Wow to think I am not alone!!! I loved reading the article and the comments. Like finding my tribe.
So I just recently thought to revisit MB as I’ve been pulling at straws trying to figure out WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???? Is it my bi-polar disorder (been diagnosed in the past but no long pharma’d for it, my Pisces moon, my Libra sun, what??? I’ve been a health researcher, a teacher stateside, a teacher abroad, a model, a designer, a boutique operator, a hostess, a freelance writer, a tutor, an admin assistant, and the list goes on. I’ve never taken myself very seriously with any of the above/never committed my full self for any great length of time. I’m sorta in-between introvert and extrovert, being a super Libra charmer but I always need that alone time to recharge.
I’ve trained in nutrition and a bit in life-coaching then started thinking that was all just “stupid”. I’m now recognizing that the artist in me is dying to shine and that this book I’ve talked of writing for over 5 years must get written this year or I’ll die a fraud. If anyone wants to live chat and support I’m in the northern Virginia area. Oh yeah, I can’t stop moving either. This is NOT the best home for an INFP.
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can’t stop moving?!? Me two. I envision a house full of us INFP types, super low rent so we can pursue our creativity.
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Just Turned 30 and currently freaking out about what I’m doing with my life. I also suffer severly with what I call the immersion/avoidance paradox. When I am totally immersed in something, I do nothing else. I often work myself to death. I work off the clock and in my sleep. My family and friends dont see me for a while as I get lost down the rabbit hole. Then usually a natural transition or a nervous breakdown causes me to step back to rest and get perspective. After that I cannot make myself go back no matter how much willpower I exert, how many deals or promises I make with myself. But I also cannot admit that I need to end the experience and move on. So I avoid it. I play hookie, let the phone go to voicemail (even if its my boss). I let things slip in my performance. I get paranoid about being fired. I avoid people I am usually friends with. Its almost like I am intentionally sabotaging myself to get out. I cannot make the (irrational) descision to leave something I worked so hard on, got praise or promotions for, or have people counting on me for. But for whatever reason I literally am unable to make myself go back into such a deep level of concentration.
Currently tinking about changing jobs (I work from home as manager of school division of a small photography company: it sounds perfect on paper, but there is literally no structure and no social interaction and I am going crazy and finding it extremely hard to stay motivated)
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Allison you just described me perfectly with your “immersion/avoidance paradox” – only I’m 34 and male. This has occurred two or three times this year for me with musical projects – album production and indie rock band self-management.
One year ago after an intense two months of promotions and touring I became exhausted to the point of a four month depression and avoidance and a complete re-think of what the hell it is I’m doing with my life. I’ve been wondering if more solid financial gains and monetary incentives for those projects would give me motivation to press forward but I don’t have the time to create a plan to make it work, or the energy and extrovert skills needed. The sad thing is I love the creative end of it and I’m really good at it so why don’t I do it more? Why do I go for a manic few weeks day in day out playing and writing songs at the piano and then for months there is nothing?
I’m freaking out about life too and decided to return to University. But for what? I need to figure it out really quick here.
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This is totally me, too, Allison. I’m currently in the avoidance stage, getting ready to start looking again because the bloom’s off the rose at work. But of course, I have no idea what job to apply for. My kaleidoscope resume doesn’t make me an obvious candidate for anything, and the idea many jobs either paralyzes me with fear, or makes my soul wither. I’m almost 40, and feel like I should have a grown-up, upwardly mobile, logically building career. There must be a place for us somewhere!
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For my first job, I served in the military, having joined for idealistic, “I want to save the world,” reasons. After a couple years in the service, I realized that I cared more for peace than I did war, and that although I believe “certain wars are better than certain kinds of peace” I had much internal conflict in the application of that principle. After four years in the military, I joined Americorps, which is the domestic version of the Peace Corps; This job offered me the ability to serve others, to work close with and get to know a small group of people on my team with whom I travelled around the country with. All of us in the program were altruistic, and such a bond of shared ideals contributed to making the experience truly a delight. Now, I am working with a business where I have daily interaction with customers. I don’t mind the shallowness of those conversations as much as I did at first, as I have great relationships with my coworkers and know many of them better than I do my family. In my spare time, I write voraciously. I’ve been a writer since I was a kid. Writing for myself now, I hope to someday commit to a wider audience, but only for the purpose of sharing with them my life path and the truths I’ve stumbled upon along the way. I am content and happy.
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Hi Nina – I’m in the Washington, DC area if you’d like to chat. You can reach me at adorahue1832@hotmail.com. My name is Amiee.
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I don’t know if there is an answer to this dilemma. I’m in my late 50s, and still struggle with the Monday morning blues. In my late 40s I felt simply “unemployable.” I’d held many jobs, done at least okay at everything I’d tried, but had no “profession” to speak of. For instance, after working in the printing industry for a few years, I’d published a small newspaper. I’d done everything myself—writing, photography, computer graphics, selling advertising, distribution. I loved it, but couldn’t make a living at it. And, with no formal training or degree in journalism, I couldn’t find a job doing similar work. So I did the “logical” thing, and started a wallpaper hanging business. I’d never hung wallpaper, so I had fake my credentials for awhile, but I was good at it. And I could continue to “be my own boss.” One nice thing about both those jobs – you deal with customers on a professional level, but then do the work on your own. So you get to schmooze a tiny bit, on a sort of superficial level, and then you get to be by yourself. So you’re mostly alone, but not lonely. Anyway, health insurance became an issue, and I felt I needed a full time job with a group plan. I picked my next gig as I’d picked all the others in my life – I pulled it out of my hat. I went to school for nursing and became an LPN. I knew I was going to dislike the job even before I started, but felt I’d invested too much in the school to back out. I’d like to say as a confirmed INFP, nursing is not a very good fit. But things don’t seem so open ended for me anymore, and I think that’s the worst of it. I always felt I could move on, try something new, but that gets harder as one ages. Not on the inside, but on the outside. Meaning that people see you differently as you age and it’s just harder to break through. A 30 year old novice is still acceptable. A 57 year old novice it harder to accept. I have a lot of interests outside work (I write, sculpt, etc), and I try to focus on those things. Between us, I don’t think I’m very good at my actual job, which adds to my misery .
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I feel for you!
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I just happened upon this thread and it is one of those times when you ask yourself, how did I find this? What in the world connected me to this? Things happen for a reaso???, of course they do…
I am sitting here at work, a job I have only held for 3 months now. I got the job based on by luck. You see I had tried to start a business several years ago and only because I didn’t want another job like the one I am in right now. Needless to say, that the business did not work out, I was ok with the day to day work but really left me unsatisfied and I am still dealing with money issues from those days.
I have lived my entire life this way. Misunderstood. I get stories from my mother that teachers would tell her that I was very smart, had a high IQ, but just did not apply myself. She would say things to me like ” just do what you love, if you want to be a garbage collector, be a garbage collector, just love it. Well I could never figure out what I actually love. Fast forward 30 odd years and a multitude of jobs and I am still in the same position. That is a hard pill to swallow, when you look back and don’t see progress. Maybe that is not a fair assessment, I have obviously grown but I am talking about satisfying that inner voice. You all know what I am talking about.
I have thought about becoming a travel photographer, a charter boat captain, a tour guide, a nutrition and exercise coach, a Natropathic doctor. Wild and varied career choices with no common thread. But that seems to be where my interests lie and my heart and soul guide me. The biggest hurdle is the incapacitating self doubt if this choice will be the right choice. I shudder to think that I will invest time and energy and not just my own anymore, as I now have a family of 4 following me around, only to find out that….nope this isn’t it either.
I guess making no choice and continuing sitting here at a job that bores me to death is a choice in and of itself.
Thank you all for expressing your fears and showing me that I am not alone in this tormented life.
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I found out I am an INFP not to long ago but never really felt like I belonged there untill i read your article. In the past when i was younger i used to have a lot of issues with people who criticized me untill i learned in University that you should not take it personal but that it’s ment for learning, for you to grow further than you are and it really helped!
As for a job I am currently a designer. I design websites where I take in account the usability and accessibility. I also program the sites. I work in a small company with 6-7 others. I am the only designer there but others do have a bit of design knowledge and I can always ask them for help and advice.
If you like working with children and/or are a stay at home mom, why not start a sort of daycare? Where you look after the children of family members and neighbors who have to work? Just an idea
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“I think the common reccommendation that INFPs would like to work in people oriented service jobs is a bit off the mark. We do usually care about others and enjoy showing our care, but we are still introverts and we don’t generally like a lot of shallow interactions – which means that service jobs may be fullfilling and draining at the same time.”
Oh wow. Well this certainly hit me hard.
I have just taken the MBTI and found out I was an INFP. Everything was so spot on, it wasn’t even funny. All these years I thought my over-thinking, creative yet under-appreciated, Peter-Pan-syndrome self was all my own that you have no idea how good it is to know (and feel!) that there are others out there that are like me.
Yes, I’ve tried “Googling” bits and pieces of my personality which seem to resurface frequently—but then I could never come to a conclusion (i.e. “Why is it that I can socialize well, but feel emotionally drained whenever I interact too long with someone?”) Now I’m beating myself up as to why I haven’t found out my result to this earlier. (I took this one a few years back as a freshman in college, but then my procrastination kicked in, and kept putting off finding the result. Yeaaah.)
I’m 20 and my first job is in the hospitality industry. I’m working as a Front Desk agent in a 5-star hotel. My initial thought upon getting this job was “Wow. This is going to be easy peasy. Yes, sure, I can socialize!” But soon after that the Introverted side of me kept popping up and I could not make anything of this because I’ve always thought that hospitality came easy for me, but why is it that I felt so drained after being with a crowd of people. I think because we INFPs tend to look at the greener side of the pasture that we sometimes fail to see the cons of things. (Yet another thing I have to work on!) Probably our empathic side at work. I also always mistook my idealism for optimism, which now seems quite funny.
I’m so glad to see my other options. And I’m glad to have found this out early in my career. “Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life” (Confucius) — I wonder what that may be.
I will definitely keep you updated. Thank you for this!
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I too feel like this was written by me, for me. I now know what birds I an afeatherd with. Let me know if anyone comes up with an answer.
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Like many of you I stumbled upon this site while trying to figure out what to do with my life next. Currently unemployed but have worked in various jobs from market research, retail, admin, manufacturing, waitress, IT Support and the list goes on. Still trying to find my ideal job, toy with the IDEA of being a writer but need motivation to just sit and write. I know I have left people confused with my apparent random career moves being asked in an interview, “who are you? What defines YOU” which I must admit left me questioning that for a few days. I too am an INFP and it good to know that there are other people who feel like me. Many companies are department separate (if that makes sense) with each dept. competing against each other or pinning mistakes against each other where I would prefer and feel would be more productive to have a more team-support environment between departments. Hopefully the next career choice will be the right one for me. I am very interested to check out the books and links mentioned above. x
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Wow, I can’t explain how much I relate to you all! I question and doubt myself every day and it is SO EXHAUSTING! It seems as if I’m trying to find my place in a world i just don’t belong in. No matter how much I search, and i’ve searched, no career fulfills me completely. Whatever I decide on, I doubt. I give up. I want to be successful but it’s just really hard when you lack motivation and drive because you DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. I know I’m not lazy and I am very intelligent in any subject. I had honors classes in high school and always did well. I am an extremely hard worker. I love helping people. I’m worthy, but it’s so hard to believe because it doesn’t translate into my career actions. And I know you all are NOT LAZY OR STUPID, it’s just a tough world for us. What we want and reality don’t mesh well. *sighh*
And I agree with the double whammy comment–this life is hard, but being an INFP is double hard! What to do…
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Very well put!! Exactly how I feel
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Thank you!! What a relief. So many of these posts (almost all of them) are exactly like me. It’s such a relief to be able to relate to people. Does anyone know any INFPs that are actually happy in their chosen careers? I would love to hear what those careers actually are. Sometimes I often ponder this: Since INFPs are described as being “Healers,” are we supposed to be a healer in our career? That makes sense, but there are different types of healers. The ones that come to mind the most are doctors, priests, nurses, psychologists, etc. I wonder that if we don’t have a “healing” career then we will never truly be happy. Almost like it’s a calling or our destiny. Anyone else feel this way?
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I probably shouldn’t have read this at work as my utterances of “totally” and “I know, right?” began to garner questions from my coworkers. I work for a big box electronics retailer, back in the warehouse. I’m the only employee in my specific line of work. This company encourages “having fun while being the best” and we change so often I don’t have a chance to get bored. There’s a community outreach team that I co-captain. We organize water-balloon fights & game nights for the employees. It’s as close to perfect as entry-level can get, I think. Still I’m beginning the search for another job, or career if possible, but if my current one just paid WAY more than the work is worth I could stay here indefinitely.
I’m really REALLY lucky to have this position. Thinking about it, I probably only have it because they couldn’t figure out where else to put me and didn’t want to let me go. It’s certainly atypical. I do still have a set schedule, but my shifts change by the week where some days I’m up at 5a and others I can wake up at my leisure to roll in around 2p. The work itself isn’t the height of creativity, but at least I’m not doing the same thing everyday.
Unfortunately, I’m living paycheck to a-few-days-before-the-next-paycheck. I didn’t realize how fate had smiled on me until I read this post and its replies. I’m going to take looking for another career slowly as it seems I might have it pretty good right now. For now, all I can do is continue being myself while on my search and to be true to myself, something I don’t think we have much trouble with. ^^
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YEA! I’M NOT ALONE! SO I RELATE TO EVERYONE HERE WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THAT I’M LAZY AND UNMOTIVATED BECAUSE I REFUSE TO CAST INTO THEIR TYPE A PERSONALITY! I’M 54 AND HAD KNOWN THAT I’M INTROVERTED FOR A LONG TIME. HAD READ THE BOOK ” THE INTROVERT ADVANTAGE” BY DR MARTI LANEY AND IT WAS VERY INFORMATIVE.DISCOVERED THAT ONLY 20% OF THE WORLD’S POPULATION IS INTROVERTED, AND NOW JUST FOUND THAT WE’RE ARE BROKEN DOWN INTO SUB CATAGORIES. I TOO AM A INFP AFTER TAKING THE QUIZES BUT ALSO A SENSITIVE DOER WHICH FIT MY PREVIOUS CAREER OF 28 YEARS.
NOW PARTIALY DISABLED DUE TO A LACK OF REGARD FOR SAFETY BY AN ” OFFICE POLITICIAN” TYPE A PERSONALITY I NOW HAVE TO EXPLORE OTHER CAREER OPTIONS! IT’S BEEN TOUGH ON MY WIFES AND MY RELATIONSHIP BUT WE’LL GET THROUGH THIS LIKE WE HAVE BEFORE. WE STILL HAVE EACH OTHER AND OUR FAMILY SUPPORT GRANDKIDS AND ALL! I WAS A SWIMMING POOL TECHNICIAN WHICH ALLOWED ME A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF FREEDOM TO WORK ALONE , DEAL WITH A VARIETY OF PEOPLE,TO WORK OUTDOORS OR INSIDE AND AS AN INSTALLER USE MY CREATIVITY TO BUILD SOME PRETTY AMAZING EQUIPMENT SETS. THEY USED TO CALL ME “THE ARTIST” AND WAS FASTER AND CLEANER THAN THE BOSSES SON. I WOULD GET ALOT OF COMPLIMENTS ON MY WORK FROM HOMEOWNERS CONTRACTORS, TRADESMEN AND OTHER TECHNICIANS ON THE ASTHETICS,SERVICABILITY AND PROFESSIONALISM THAT I EXEMPLIFIED, ONLY THING IS THAT UNLESS YOU OWN THE COMPANY ONE DOESN’T MAKE A VERY GOOD WAGE AND IT’S VERY DIFFICULT TO ADVANCE TO ANYTHING BEYOND. THEN THERE ARE THOSE WHO ARE JEALOUS OF MY POSITION AND WERE CONSTANTLY BADMOUTHING ME TO THE BOSS ,SABOTAGEING WORK, AND OUT AND OUT LYING TO THE BOSS TO GET RID OF ME JUST BECAUSE OF MY LAID BACK INTROVERTED NATURE. KARMA HAS A WAY OF COMING BACK ON THOSE TYPE OF PEOPLE WHETHER THEY LOSE THEIR JOB , HAVE A HEART ATTACK , FIND THEIR WIFE IN BED WITH SOMEONE ELSE ,WHATEVER,IT WILL COME BACK ON THEM. PAYBACKS A B%*!@! I UNDERSTANDIBLY, AM MAD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BUT NOW HAVE TO REFOCUS ON WHAT TO NEXT, AS WHAT THE WIFE SAYS ,THE BEST REVENGE IS TO BE SUCCESSFUL AT SOMETHING ELSE! GOT A GOOD WOMAN IN THAT ONE,THATS WHY SHE CHOSE ME,LOL!!! RIGHT NOW WORKING PART-TIME AS A PIZZA DELIVERY DRIVER BUT SOMETHING TO DO FOR NOW UNTIL I GET INTO ANOTHER CAREER SO AM SEARCHING OPTIONS. THATS WHY I CAME TO THIS SITE IN MY MEANDERINGS ONLINE .
HAD BEEN CONSIDERING GOING BACK TO SCHOOL FOR AT LEAST AN ASSOCIATES DEGREE NOW THAT I ,M NOT WORKING 50-60 HOURS A WEEK BUT THE QUESTION STILL REMAINS,NOW WHAT! I SEE THAT WE ALL HAVE THE SAME QUEST, WHAT WILL WORK FOR OUR PERSONALITY TYPE. AS ONE GETS OLDER YOU FIND THAT YOU WANT SOMETHING MEANINGFUL IN WHAT YOU DO AND NOT SO MUCH THE MONEY BUT TO HAVE SOME IMPACT ON THE FUTURE .SO IS THE PATH LAID BEFORE ME THE JOURNEY CONTINUES SO MANY ROADS TO CHOOSE FROM AND TIME IS IRRELEVENT . I SAY FOLLOW YOUR HEART BUT WITH WISDOM AND TO HELL WITH THOSE TYPE A PERSONALITIES . HE WHO DIES WITH MOST TOYS STILL DIES,THEY CANT TAKE IT WITH THEM AND THEY WILL HAVE TO GIVE AN ACCOUNT OF THEIR LIVES IN THE END. A SAD DAY FOR THEM WHEN THEY HAVE TO OWN UP TO THE PEOPLE THEY STEPPED ON TO GET THEIR EARTHLY RICHES! ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE,BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND RECOGNIZE YOUR UNIQUENESS. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER!
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I’m an INFP and it sucks. I can’t figure out what to do with my life. I want to make a decent income like around $45,000/year but nothing sounds interesting. Well, the things that I do enjoy would be taking a risk to get into the business. I’m really into arts/crafts and seriously love cooking. I feel like it’s not practical though. I already have school debt so I can’t possibly attempt opening up a restaurant or my own business. I feel like the only practical decision would be nursing, but I don’t want to do it. Trying to think of other in demand jobs with less interaction. Sigh I just don’t know what to do!
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How about getting a job as a chef? I used to have an INFP guy friend who worked at a very nice hotel restaurant. He loved his job. He got to be creative with new dishes and loved the people he worked with.
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thank you so much for this post. It almost describes me to a T! Though I am money motivated because I know what it feels like to live in poverty and I never want to go back there. This is however my current career problem. I am in a job that pays more than other more ideal fields for my personality type. I do well but I do not excel due to lack of aggressive business interests.
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Thank you so much for this post and everyone here for their awesome comments.. wow. I’m in university and every time I get this depressing feeling in my heart that school is not for me I start searching frantically for alternatives.. and have concluded that there really isn’t anything in the conventional life for me. well shit son! What I really want to do, is live off the grid on an Earthship or some farm that’s mostly self sustaining, be outdoors all day and maybe have a camper van to travel around sometimes and sleep in.. under the stars, besides waterfalls, and then go home to more natural magic growing delicious, organic foods and herbs in my garden full of little fairy people. (shut up they exist!) I would like to combine veganic and biodynamic farming.. biodynamic, respecting the movements of the cosmos, but without the use of animals in the system. Maybe sometimes I’d go travel and volunteer on other farms and ecovillages, or Camphill communities (for disabled people, lots of arts and crafts and nature), since they give you food and lodging for your work and I’d never have to buy anything except transportation.. but that can be arranged. Living off the grid would do the same thing, being out of the “harsh” economic system, maybe I’ll plant coconuts. I frickin loooove coconuts.
Just always follow the beat of your own drum. Give everyone some love. There IS hope and you ARE making a difference, there is no comparing big and small when it comes to helping someone, and the best way to do that is if you’re being yourself! Just don’t worry about it, whatever it is you’re worried about. there was long ago the age of working hard, and then in the last few decades it was working smart, and now is the time to work passionately. it shouldn’t even seem like work if you’re doing it right… I guess i’m doing it wrong right now, what with school and a major i only care partly about, stressing out over minimum wage jobs, but that is going to CHANGE!!! the time is now. Thank you everyone for allowing me this space to share and figure things out!! Much love you beautiful people.
it’s also crossed my mind to become many things.. art therapist, waldorf kindergarten teacher, wildlife rehabilitation, children’s book writer, etc.. (i wished we had spaceships because i’d totally be an ufo pilot) i guess in the end I’m just going to have to do all of those things, but always knowing the world is my playground, and acting from my heart, with a sort of volunteer attitude that doesn’t require me to do anything but what I’m passionate about at the moment. It could just be on the side, while I work on my farm, so it IS like volunteering and it’s not really for profit, just what I’d like to do someday. How convenient that these things are usually volunteer/self-employed work anyway. If anything they’d also pay for plane tickets to Hawaii where I indulge in amazing communities of like-minded people living off the land. Perhaps a trip to Peru and living with the ayahuasca shamans and helping out in the village would be inspiring and open myself to my weird mind. I’m sure I have some logical flaws in this general plan but eh i’ll figure it out as I go.. the world is getting “softer” and it’s time for people like us to shine
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What’s your future plan? Now I’m curious because I’m in the same situation as you.
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OMG – this sounds so much like me. I’ve done a variety of things career-wise in my life, and am now 48 and just want to retire. Am over-tired of all the politics & rhetoric. I have tended to work for larger companies as I can generally find “niches” there that I can’t elsewhere, but the policies & restrictions make me crazy. I had a boss once who asked me what motivated me “because it sure isn’t money” & I had to honestly say – I don’t know. Sometimes I am and some times not, and not by the same things all the time.
Now I work for the money, because it is the only reason to work (imho) other than insurance. No real enjoyment in working, and have given up hope of having that again in this lifetime.
Thank you for sharing!!
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Wow. I was literally just browsing for INFP information (finding rather useful and smile inducing information) when I stumbled upon this beauty of a post! Everything that was said and every single post I read from this community of INFPs touched me. It feels incredible to know there is people out there that ‘get you’ because they are like you. I am certain that to this day I have not met an INFP in person…it gets lonely! I’m always dreaming of better things, dreaming of the future, dreaming of perfection–not perfection as in the physical type but that intangible feeling of perfection where the world is just right and everything is where and how it’s supposed to be. It almost seems to be like an insatiable love. The truth that I think will set me free but always seems unreachable or unattainable.
if anyone out there is looking into career change or advice, I’d say science in medical or any of it’s branches is definitely worth a look 
After being in sales and customer service (which I did just to pay the bills) I cut down my costs of living so that I could pursue college full time and work part time. The dreamer in me took a leap and applied for a job at a laboratory. Next thing I know I’m hired on and I’ve been working there for almost a month now. Although its a entry level job, I’m loving it. It will help me in my career in laboratory science and I’m learning so much every day. To see human specimen and not work directly with people other than my coworkers has been amazing. Seeing and dealing with as I like to say “real-life” matters instead of business hypocrisy and unreal, unworthy causes and problems is indescribable. Science fascinates me. To me Science means innovation, belief, dreams that cannot be just dreams but possibility, care, love and exploration into the unknown for the betterment of human kind. I can say that if Science was a person, it would definitely be an INFP
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Hi all! Have enjoyed reading your comments. I am also an INFP. I’ve been unable to settle in any job, always searching for somewhere to fit in. I have still not figured it out, and now at 30 I have nothing to show for my life apart from a bunch of experiences. I am currently working through several career books, muddling through, I have spoken to life and career coaches, but still felt I cannot find the ONE job that ticks all the boxes. I wish I could find somewhere I want to stay, so I can build up my savings, buy a flat and gain some stability. I know what I haven’t liked about other jobs, but I also have to pay the bills, and seem to end up in the high pressure jobs as I don’t want to earn below a certain wage. I am still trying to identify WHAT my next move should be, while frantically interviewing here there and everywhere, hoping something good is going to turn up.
I’ve had a love-hate relationship with my creative side, studying to become a Graphic Designer, than getting crushed when I couldn’t deliver as well as I’d hoped to the blood-sucking clients, then taking other more mundane jobs, before getting stifled again and dipping back into design.
I enjoy writing, like other INFPs. I’ve not worked with a company that has a humanitarian outlook but would like to do more meaningful things like volunteer abroad (or in my home country).
In my experience, it is incredibly hard to be an INFP. Aren’t we like 3% of the population? I am very sensitive and easily upset in stressful situations. I drown amongst office politics, pressure, deadlines. I also need to work on my assertiveness. Too many people can walk all over you if you’re not careful. It’s like they take advantage of nice people! I am not a doormat and am building up my self-esteem – I will fiercely defend myself when I need to.
Would be happy to hear from any INFPs – you’re certainly not alone.
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Yup I’m pretty sure I’m an INFP. And I just wasted more time than I’d like to admit while at work reading all these posts.. Why isn’t there an answer!
I can’t go back to school unless the course is less then a year, its just not in me. I am sort of money driven and am good with managing my own money. But I don’t know what I LOVE! I “like” and am interested in all sorts of things, sewing, tiling, pottery, pilates, gardening, wood working, metal working, building things, renewable resources, traveling, animals, farming, camping, wildlife, etc etc but what do I choose and how do I get more involved in it?? I think I would be best meandering around a farm taking care of animals doing what ever sort of arts and crafts and projects suited me. (Actually this probably wouldn’t work because of having no real direction or motivation). I think I would really like to sell things I’ve created and grown (plants/animals) at a farmers market. But then theres this shadow creeping at the edge of my dreams and thoughts and its whispering, “Why not just drop everything and travel? Wouldn’t moving around from country to country be fun??”. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t enjoy that for long, especially by myself. It’s just my mind disguising my avoidance of commitment.
Also, I’m not sure how creative I really am, I like brain storming with people and this gets me going and thinking of some really good things (IMHO), but on my own I don’t feel that original. Wait, no, let me correct, I don’t feel like a typical artist, infact I don’t feel I’m an artist at all, just very creative and very skilled with different mediums… I’m not sure where I was going with all this.. Oh, am I the only one that isn’t an “artist”? And where are the success stories?
Sometimes I get stuck in my head, thinking up ideas and great ways to live my life and then I step outside, and its the real, boring world, and it feels so.. surreal.. Like I’m in my own book or movie, but not in a self centered sort of way.. Hard to explain… Man i sound messed up, maybe I have other issues…
Anyways… back to work!
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Hello INFPs
What an interesting thread. I don’t normally wear my heart on my online sleeve but in the interests of INFP solidarity, I’ll throw in my ha’penny-worth of backstory, as someone content in their career.
I can certainly second the person earlier who recommended university work. I’m doing a PhD in History and have never felt as fulfilled, or had such a sense of the ‘work that isn’t work’, as in the proverb somebody quoted. I work on my own time, in my own way, and when I teach it will often be to small seminar groups. There is a basic atmosphere which respects people’s independence and integrity, together with high expectations, and this all appeals to my introvert and my idealist qualities. I’m here for at least three years, and after 6 months, I feel that my colleagues are getting to know me and becoming friends; the more this is the case, the more comfortable, safe and confident I feel. The work is basically solitary, but my department is quite large and full of ‘good people’, in a vibrant university, so I get a nice balance of alone-time and society. I study the history of another country, so can both use my language skills and travel to archives, and my period is contemporary, so I get to interview people. I’m lucky enough to have an avuncular supervisor who ‘gets’ me and my musings on the meanings of things, or outlandish connections made between disciplines, and has only once suggested that I might be mad(!). I’m lucky enough, and this is crucial to me, as I definitely don’t come from money or have the desire to acquire it, to have a ‘patron’, in the form of a national research council-funded scholarship, which means I don’t have to worry (too much) about that mucky money stuff.
If this sounds smug, I only hope it can stand as an example of an INFP who is ‘successful’ in the sense of being content in their life and activities. I have my share of issues – eating disorder stuff, relationship stuff, self-esteem-based really, but ultimately I have faith that I’m on the best path I can be, which given how damn complicated the world can be, isn’t bad going.
I recognise the troubled searching of the INFP, and it was only a couple of years ago that I settled upon the path I’m on, after a relationship (with an INTP) went spectacularly tits-up and I broke down completely. That was when I was in my early twenties (I’m now mid-twenties). It revealed to me, I think, that you have to decide to want to live in this wondrous world, and once made, this decision is so rewarding to an INFP because we are especially capable of living authentically (I say this in the knowledge of what a troubled concept ‘authenticity’ can be.) It was a loss of illusions, which was no bad thing, because it enabled me to begin to acquire something approaching wisdom. The thing with ‘work’ is finding a balance between going with your instincts and being prepared to whip out the ESTJ tools if need requires (if it advances your cause as an INFP). Studying History is part of my way of seeing the unity of things, and for me it’s not really separable from, for example, my yoga practice, or playing musical instruments, or learning languages. I would particularly recommend finding a genuinely good (i.e. not just any) yoga teacher, or a holistic physical activity – martial arts, capoeira, dance – rather than a ‘sport’. Breathing, posture, health, will in my opinion all help an INFP find the self-possession needed to handle the tricky moments of life and of a career (for me, answering questions at conferences where I present my work).
I have an underlying sense of being fortunate which has allowed me to get through some sticky patches: depression, aphasia, a broken heart. All I can suggest to an INFP who doesn’t feel lucky, or feels cynical, would be to learn to ‘let go’ of the anxiety which can accompany perfectionism (hence the yoga suggestion). Let serendipity take you (Jung was big on serendipity, no?) and because you’re someone who potentially has access to the unity and beauty of things, you’ll arrive where you need to be. We INFPs are very much part of the world, and I would recommend seeing as much of it as you can (can definitely understand the temptation to go ‘off-grid’ but not sure I can see the world in divisive terms myself). See new social interactions as a way to experiment with who and how you might be. However dreamy, we also have a gift for seeing things ‘as they are’ and if you feel an internal conflict, there’s probably a vision that you’re not trusting. Find an environment in which you feel ‘safe’ (so glad I don’t live in corporate America, or corporate anywhere, for that matter!). If you can find the drive and the self-esteem to express how you see the world, and can seek out the place/s where this expression will be valued, you’ll be OK.
Good luck, and love to all!
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As an INFP, I hope my story can help someone else… After getting a BA in Spanish, I’ve been a camp cook, a craft repair person for a fair trade organization, a free lance graphic artist, a watercolorist and private art teacher, a teacher’s aide, a newspaper website coordinator, and a secretary.
Then I needed to help more with family finances…so went back to school at age 50. For 6 years I have been a Physical Therapist Assistant in an Alzheimer’s facility. I intuitively can connect with my patients to feel what they need…I became a guru at creative problem solving and wheelchair positioning. It was extremely fulfilling in one sense but I constantly fought burn-out from intensely working with people and the company’s pressuring for impossible productivity numbers. I worked 5 days a week, then 4, then 3….Then a month ago I couldn’t do it anymore, anxiety and sleeplessness..and am now on a leave of absence to heal. My boss says I”m irreplaceable, and I’m to write my own job description. I may go back one day a week PRN…I need to finally write that book/instruction manual/blog to teach others what I’ve learned about physical therapy for dementia patients.
But the point here is…it looks like we are all on the same journey, wanting to help others while maintaining wholeness for ourselves, an oh yes, earning a living. As an oldster (!) I now can embrace the patchwork of my employment history. I helped many people, suffered a lot, made some good friends but not much money (until my PTA career) AND LEARNED WHAT I OUGHT NOT BE DOING. In (INFP)Parker Palmer’s wonderful book “Let your life speak”, he says you find your way not by doors opening ahead of you, but by doors closing behind you. This book is a MUST READ….wonderful! I also recommend “The Highly Sensitive Person”. Google it.
And one last nugget to leave you with hope. My dear father was an INFP (thank goodness!!! ) He was a high school social studies teacher who wanted to save the world. He enjoyed it the first few decades, but the last number of years was extremely difficult, back in the 1970s. He stuck it out, retired, and then spent almost 30 years having a ball doing what he wanted to do: gardening, volunteering everywhere, traveling, reading…all for altruistic purposes. There is wholeness for us (“happiness” seemes too shallow a word). It is a journey that is worth taking.
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I have only very recently discovered that I , too, am an INFP. Like so many of others, I was shocked at how absolutely dead-on it was. And reading some of your posts, I feel as if there are clones of myself out there I knew nothing about! I have to admit I’m still reeling over the fact that there are so many others so like myself, struggling with the same issues. (I’ve felt my entire life like I’ve had to fight just to be myself. Anybody else feel that way? ) One thing occurs to me, though, and that is that as long as we-all keep looking at ourselves through the eyes of others, we’re going to continue to hamper ourselves in so many ways, denying ourselves the beauty of who we really are, and what we have to offer to the world at large. One common thread- and believe me, I struggle with this too- is the idea that we have to find that ONE career that’s THE right career. Who says ONE job has to fill the bill? Why not have a combination of things? Instead of following the societal norm of having that one thing your supposedly supposed to do forever, split it up with different things differnt days. Maybe work 2 days in a book store, work 3 in a day care center, or whatever interests or time arrangements floats your boat. Follow other interests as hobbies, and then they might just turn into something that generates some income, who knows? Its alot easier to find part-time jobs, generally, and its also easier to move on to something else if you get tired of it or it doesn’t work out. This can also give you an opportunity to try out different things to see if you like them, without it being too much of a commitment… We also so strongly identify ourselves by our jobs; if anybody asks, just say”I’m an Entrepaneur” ! If they’re really interested, tell ‘em what you’re involved in, work-wise and hobby-wise. You might just make a valuable contact for a project that way! One thing I will say, is that I think society puts on everyone the idea that unless there’s a paycheck involved, any work you do (like a hobby or volunteering) doesn’t really have value. Oh, so DEFINETLY not so! You have to feed your soul just as much as you have to feed your body! Also, if you take the path of looking at every hobby as a potential income source, that in and of itself may ruin it for you. I take big exception to the whole “do what you love and the money will follow” approach, and maybe some of you have had the same experiences I have had: that in order to pay the bills, you end up compromising your dream out of necessity, only to find that you’ve lost what you set out to do in the process, and quite possibly end up destroying the dream altogether. (Been there, done that. Horrible.). I think we owe it to ourselves to try to sample, at least, everything that interests us as much as possible. I honestly don’t care about money; I don’t really “get it” in alot of ways…kind of hard to explain but it just is such an arbitrary concept (okay, I won’t go there). Personally, I’d rather be on he barter system, that makes more sense to me! Anyway, money is one of those evil necessities, so it comes back to the nitty-gritty of having enough to survive… which leads to the whole job thing. The big thing I’m facing down at 56 is that while I am a person of simple needs, the good ol’ USA still demands health insurance, even with whatever the Obamacare situation finally works out to be. I had to have emergency surgery a couple of years ago that ended up with complications, and no health insurance. I will NEVER be able to pay off the bill; I could buy a house with what I owe! And after taking care of both my parents when they became elderly and ill makes me keenly aware of the costs and lack of quality available care for people when they get older. I don’t want my loving but very non-INFP daughter making life decisions for me that I would hate because I wasn’t able to have the funds to set up something for myself… Depressing, I know, sorry! But unfortunatly, reality . For myself, I am currently flat broke after dedicating so many years to caring for my folks. I absolutely have to get a job, but jeez, its hard. And its tough out there, too, in this economy, especially when you’re “older” (I hate that, I don’t feel or act older, it’s flat-out predjudice!) I get great ideas for things career-wise, and I’ll spend hours thinking of ways to do them, planning it all out, etc., and have come to realize that alot of the fun of it all is the PLANNING, the POSSABILITIES of it all! We are idea-people, after all, and it is oh so easy to get caught up in all the “what-ifs” (sigh). We need to form a giant think-tank that’ll pay us to sit around and come up with great ideas for things! I know I’m jumping around a bit, but some income-streams that might appeal to some of you (as I am detecting some common threads in many posts) are dog-walking, pet sitting, house sitting; teaching crafts through a local craft store, selling stock photos to be used by others (there’s online sites for that, i don’t know alot about it). Some big pet store chains hire people solely to feed the pets and clean the cages etc. I’ve heard that zoos often hire people who first “pay their dues” as volunteers. In fact, alot of places do that. Just remember, just because its part-time, or not a convential kind of job, that doesn’t mean its not a “real” job! My own goal is to move to the little 1 acre lot with tiny cabin that my parents left me in the Sierra Nevada foothills. Needs a ton of work but nirvana in the making, believe me! Still, I have to have enough $ to be able to live there, plant my gardens (I’m very into sustainable agricuture, organics, heirloom herbs/veggies and heritage poultry/livestock), have my animals, etc etc. All doable but I stiil need the money to get it off the ground and keep it going. Its in a relatively isolated area so no nearby jobs plus ideally I’d work from home…sound familiar guys? Sounds great to me but those around me would think its crazy, I know. I keep it to myself for now, don’t want anybody stepping on my hopes! Then again, I’d love to move to the Southern Oregon coast, or even go live in another country for awhile…aarrrgh! Too many choices, not enough lifetime! Anyway, hopefully I’ve given a little inspiration and food for thought. Hang in there evrybody! Let’s hear as many success stories as possible to help us on our journies!
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Barbara, thank you so much for the inspiration! I had to write some of your thoughts in my journal because they were awesome and relatable! I’m have been feeling stuck lately, yet I have so many interests to pursue, I become immobilized in doing them at times. (I think more so because I’m burned out from work). I have come away from these posts – and have always known- that I have to get more into these ideas and interests I have. God gave them to me for a reason- to embrace His creations and humanity for my happiness.
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wow everything on here was completly spot on! im still having trouble…i dont want to go to school until i know what i want to do but i dont want to work at a dead end job bc it makes me miserable. part of me just wants to be a stay at home mom or somthing even though i dont have kids yet. any suggestions?
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Have you considered doing daycare or owning a nursery school? There are two year programs available in early childhood education. It could fit well when you do have your own children. I had ‘dreamed’ of doing that, as I have dreamed of many other things, but my lack of self confidence sapped any motivation I had to pursue it. Sometimes we have to ‘just do it!’
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Wow, I can’t even believe how much this relates to exactly how I’m feeling. Everything on this page is just me in a nutshell. I’m only 21, but I went to school for 2 years for graphic design and it did not mesh well with me. I keep on thinking I’d do well in a human services type career, but at the same time I’m an introvert so I don’t think I could handle people 24/7. It’s so tough trying to decide these things. Like others have mentioned, I want a career not a job and something that makes me want to get up in the morning and feel fulfilled, not something I will hate.
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I’m 33, currently unemployed after working for 4 1/2 years doing administrative assistant work, and I am thinking of taking a Social Worker program, but I have my doubts. I’ve dealt with a lot of anxiety and depression throughout my life, so I guess I feel like I have a good idea of what people go through themselves. I constantly question myself if I am capable and if I have the emotional capacity to keep my composure doing that type of work. It’s all very hopeless, but it is nice to have that comfort to know we are not alone. I still go in and out of dispare not being able to fit into a workplace, and have just as much difficulty seeing myself anywhere in the future. I’m going to decide on this college program though, it’s probably the best choice I have, but it’s hard because of feeling so uncertain.
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Kinda funny, I had almost forgot I set this as my WordPress avatar years ago.
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Excellent article, I’ve only skimmed through the myriad of replies. INFP here, although borderline INTP (I’ve worked out I go more INTP when immersed in work). I can relate to so much of the above. I’m nearly there in my current career, I find locations for films and TV programmes. I get good autonomy, I get to be creative, my work gets seen by a lot of people so it ticks my “global reach” box. What kills me though is the pressure, the receiving of any criticism whatsoever, and the inherent uncertainty and conflict which comes about by imposing filming onto the real world. And it doesn’t really feel worthy enough, the filming and crew ride rough-shod over the world without caring enough about the other people within it. Suffice to say I often end up disliking the crews I have to work with (never to their faces though, that’d lead to argument, and arguments rock me to my core). I’d love to write for a living if I could but I have a nagging doubt that I lack either the talent or the killer instinct or both. How INFP is all of this?!
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Great comment. This whole site is fantastic. I too am wondering what to do now (3 years out of uni and no job in my field). Bought the book you guys suggested and still not any closer. Might invest in a life coach or phsyologist for some more career advice
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I have also been a nurse for 15 years and got to the point of crying before work- also doing permanent night shifts didn’t help! Anyway have now found ultrasound which lets me keep my own patient list and able to work alone but in a group. And the pay is double in Australia which means I will eventually work less days when I am qualified, for more money, better quality of life and time to spend on my passions. I didn’t want to start at the bottom in another career so it was a great move for me. Hopefully that helps someone…
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Natalie I can relate! I have crying myself for the past 2 weeks before going to work. I’m a mental health clinician and I am totally burned out!
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I found it quite interesting how many health care professionals posted on here …I am a psychiatric nurse and have been for 14 years ..I am beyond burnt out …I am on fire ..I feel as many older people on here do that I am getting too old to continue this search for a new career..but if I don’t find something else I will stay stuck and miserable …this is my last ditch effort to ‘get on with it ‘…I have enjoyed reading all of your posts .. definitely made me feel ‘less’ alone in the world ..back to the bookstore for more reading and searching..I feel like I am getting closer
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Sorry didn’t really clarify that last comment, I am an INFP as well and I have been able to resolve my nursing with my ideals over the years and feel great about my job but it eventually wore me out and I definitely have compassion fatigue. However in ultrasound you are only dealing with patients in short 1/2 – 1 hour blocks and I am easily able to be very nice and supportive in such short bursts! Plus I still feel like I am supporting people through injury or pain so it is great for me. Obstetric ultrasound would be great too! But mostly I have decided over the years I need a job that I am comfortable to do every day but doesn’t take all the best of me so I have energy to fulfill my emotional and spiritual needs outside of work. I have decided after all these years of floating like a butterfly and avoiding commitment (I am 33 married no kids yet) that a well paying job actually outweighs the negatives of being tied down. Because it gives me the cash flow to travel and pursue things that really feed my soul, and I realise now being broke actually makes me miserable and isn’t spiritually akin to a vow of poverty. It’s just not nice.
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I’ve done a lot of different jobs, mostly in design / music. But now going in the entrepreneur direction. If there is no suitable job, create your own universe. I think entrepreneurship is a very interesting direction for infp’s.
http://www.kickstarter.com/
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I just turned 30. I quit my career ~ 47K paying cubical job, now I am back in college for a AS in Music Performance & Sound with goals of realizing my early youth hobbies into a self produced artist. I work a flexible part time job at a 7Eleven. Just sold my 09 370z and will downgrade to something more affordable. Life is great and never been happier. Never suppress your intuition, it knows better than you think you know.
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Thank you! Very inspiring. I turned 30 last December and in February I started (finally) taking music classes I’ve been wanting to since I was 16. If I could wake up tomorrow and not go to my job ($50K) but rather work at a clothing store (I have the exact one in mind) to pay the bills and then be free to practice music, that would be a dream come true.
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Sometimes I think that with all the time I’ve spent researching careers that what I really enjoy is the act of exploring careers. Career counselor?
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Yes, I am every word of this.
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Like everyone else, I too, felt this article was spot on. At my community college, I had this same dilemma for so long. I know my family got tired of hearing about every new path. Every two or three months I would change my mind and declare a new major. Thank goodness for the General Education Program! I spoke to the career counselor at the college, and she was just wonderful. She listened to my many ideas and stresses as though she completely understood. The counselor had tons of literature on just about everything. She had about 10 tests for me to take. The list was narrowed down to two things in the end: photographer or architect. I decided on neither. The last time I left her office, I was so certain I wanted to be a graphic designer. After all, I would be able to chose from working in a business or work from home. I could make use of my artistic ability and creative problem solving. I wouldn’t have to worry about difficult customers or cleaning public toilets. There was a possibility of making great money, and I could go out in the world and see my work displayed. “How rewarding,” I thought.
Then, reality set in as I surfed through forums and blogs on graphic design. Seasoned professionals and those new to the field were alike in one major way: job security was scarce. Back in the day, graphic designers were needed. Now, businesses opt for the cheapest way to get anything done. Business managers and owners use ready-made templates or create their own designs. They don’t have to worry about setting up meetings or if their message isn’t being fully addressed. I didn’t want to have to freelance. I have three children who really need their mommy and daddy to make regular paychecks. So again, I delved into myself and picked apart every aspect about myself until all of the pieces of the puzzle were neatly organized into pros and cons, likes and dislikes, needs and wants.
As a INFP stay-at-home mom, I can tell you, I love everything about it… If only I could get paid for doing it, then I might be able to buy a new hybrid. I reminded myself of how at every job I had I would be so energized for hours anytime a child or baby came into my place of work. I would be filled with delight and passion. They would leave me thinking, “I wish I could work with children.” At last, I have chosen to get my degree in Early Childhood Education. Many of my wants, needs and values are met with this job. My career counselor and I came to the conclusion that there is no “perfect job” out there for anyone. There are always the downsides and frustrations. My fellow INFPs, focus on finding the career that is the closest fit that you are passionate about. The true challenge is in finding a way to cope with the challenges/difficulties that come with the job, and sticking with a job. Good luck!
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I have just realised that i am an INFP, i have just written a quick blog and asking people to put what they do for work as an INFP or what it is they want to do, here is the link to the blog:
http://andyhhhdx.wordpress.com/2012/08/01/infp/
Cheers
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This…is me. I work in media but it’s driving me crazy cause my boss is very demanding and sometimes moody which throws me way off cause I’m a people pleaser (trying to get out of that tho). For years, I’ve been a production coordinator and I hate that job because it’s more admin paperwork than anything else which doesn’t grant me any creativity at all. Now, I’m finally realizing that I want to be a writer and I’m writing my first book while taking a creative writing course at a nearby college. I gotta say…even if I spend 3 hours writing and fall asleep, I wake up so much happier.
I’ve even considered becoming a flight attendant so I can travel and write. I look at it as a means to an end. I’m also looking into becoming a travel writer. I hope this new path works out. I’m excited and scared. Loving this new path and loving that I’ve finally figured out I’m an INFP!
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hmm, stuck in a clerical job in a tough market. have some ideas about what I would like to do but not sure it would serve the needs listed above
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Im only 2% introvert of the INFP, which means I am capable of being very extrovert, but man does that 2% make a big difference in my overall life. Ive had many customer service jobs as i like to call them, where I work with people and thrive in the ability to be creative even if it means developing systems and solutions to making people happy and projects run smoothly. Ive moved and have more jobs than anyone i know at 27 years old. I follow my nose like Toucan Sam, I say… but I have a hard time with sticking to a career path because I cant do something I dont adore and am in love with. The idea of being in love with a purpose in life, a career is fleeting im realizing… to rely so intensely on a sensation.. feeling satisfied at all times, cozy and warm and fulfilled will be harder for people like us. Some jobs I’ve had are: Art teacher (to children and adults), respite care provider for children in the foster system (its sustainable as part time work and its very rewarding), hairdresser (while its fun at times, its far more draining and boring than thought), out door education counselor (being outside is amazing and you can teach others/youth how to love it), cafe manager (its fun developing better ways of operating businesses but managing people is hard because you cant always be nice), house flipper (the general process of renovating a home is great fun and theres always something new, but its easy to get distracted during large projects and time lines are essential for successful flips), nanny (one on one care for new little human beings is the most rewarding job so far, as theres nothing I cant justify doing to growing a happy healthy child).
Ive had many more jobs.. these are the ones that stick out for me as fulfilling more than the rest. All of these jobs allowed me to be my own boss and the aspects of being important or meaningful over rid my insecurities of lack of security.. all of these jobs have creative outlets and most importantly an opportunity to connect with people so I could share information..ideas.. beauty..
I think the real purpose of the INFP is to share the beauty we are damned and gifted enough to see in this world… the challenge is finding the way that you can render it new to allow others to experience it.
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This is so true for me. I wrote a similar list of career needs. I feel I have a dual calling, as a writer/social activist and as a yoga therapist. Just need to work out how to marry the two and how to pay the bills at the same time. I’m a single mum so that’s somewhat important. I have been a serial student, from chiropractic to anthropology, psychology to Japanese and I am still searching and seeking. Perhaps the answer is to find what truy calls us and see life as an evolving journey. For me yoga therapy is not just teaching an ongoing procession of strangers but working one on one with people in helping them meet their emotional and physical potential. It is a marriage of many of my interests but has the scope to be taken to deeper and levels to keep me interested. I do realise that it will take time to build a practice/business that will pay the bills, but that’s ok. I started this post feeling uncertain about my direction but sign off feeling more assured. I’m sure that will change and tomorrow I’ll want to be a musician. Good luck in the search fellow infps. I think many of us needto creTe our own paths to be truly fulfilled.
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Like many ot the above comments, I’ve held so many positions that it has afforded me great experience. Albeit, mostly unrelated experience; the type that employers can’t look beyond. So, I can interview well because I see them coming at me with this and I have my stock answers as to why such a variety.
I now know I can not sit at a cubicle or be in the same building day after day. I was a travelling sales person and enjoyed that the most, but not because of the sales, which was the job. To sell something that people don’t really need or upselling is something I can do, but don’t see the point. Sooner or later, it’s like pulling teeth to go to work. That’s when I hit a sales slump, when I don’t feel good about doing it.
So, I am now debt free and work for utilities and basics for 3. Nice rhyme, huh?
I live in a fairly cold, grey climate for about 8 mos. a year along in a community of mostly older retired people. I am married to a fellow who likes to grow food. I am toying with the idea of starting a soup business and have begun researching the prospect. I would also like to write and have some great ideas, but have a hard time sitting still for very long. Restless is the best word to describe my personality. Like trying to get a flying squirrel to stay in one tree……Think I could be a writer? Heh. Thanks for reading this. INFP, best of luck to you all and remember, no experience is bad experience. It all adds up like a bank account. Don’t concern yourself about the bad or good now. Just get out there, learn about yourself and get that much closer. You will arrive…..Eventually.
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I am an INFP as well. I read every single post on here, some I admit I skimmed across quickly due to boredom, I noticed a lot of people coming across anxious and frustrated in their posts as they were looking for something.
I pictured what that person looked liked as their eyes darted quickly at the words on the screen, scrolling frantically down the page holding their breathe, their anticipation at an all time high.
I could hear their inner voice exclaiming within is this it, am I finally going to get the answer I’ve been searching for aimlessly all these years? Is someone finally going to tell me what my perfect career is for me, is my “golden answer” somewhere in these words?
No it’s not, the answer is in your heart and has been there all along, you’re just choosing to ignore it, just like the rest of us. We all know what career or careers is best for us, our problem is FEAR!
We let fear consume and control us, as soon as you find one, two or three jobs that suit your INFP needs, you immediately go into the self doubt and the “what if” mindset sabotaging it. You let FEAR take over and as long as you continue to allow it you will always be in this vicious cycle until you die, never fullfilling yourself.
How many times in your life have you come face to face with a fearful obstacle and once you tackled, you thought to yourself that wasn’t so bad?
Here’s a story that hopefully puts it into perspective and you can connect with…… As a child going to the water park in the dog days of summer remember the first time going down the monster 50 ft drop slide at speeds of mach 10 like a fighter jet, or so you were convinced of that.
Hell you were 10 years old and it scared the shit out of you It was called the Green Beast for crying out loud. Every weekend you went to the pool with your family and watched your siblings and friends tackle the monster, but you were too afraid so you stood at the bottom and watched everyone have fun.
Three months later as summer was coming to an end, the last weekend at the pool you decided you were going to conquer your fears and the monster. Your whole body was trembling from the fear of the unknown, as you climbed those never ending stairs.
Soon you were standing at the entrance of the beast, and in your mind you were convinced you were going to die that day but you had to go there were people in line waiting impatiently behind you, not to mention the girl you’ve had a crush on since kindergarten, so you closed your eyes held your breath and went for it.
The ride was a complete blur, and as soon as you came out of the end at the bottom landing with a giant splash in the pool, you surfaced wiping the water from your eyes staring up in shock and awe that you just conquered the Green Beast.
Suddenly you realized that wasn’t scary at all, shit that was the most fun you had all summer, why didn’t I do this sooner you asked yourself? You started kicking yourself because you knew you only had one more hour of Green Beast fun before you had to leave the water park, for it was closing for the season until next summer.
You let fear stand in the way of your summer vacation happiness at the water park……….Don’t let The Green Beast stand in the way of your happiness in life conquer those fears, close your eyes and go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!!!
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I think you are so right, it is fear that stops us. However, I must have so much fear that I just can’t even see straight, because I have lost touch with what I should be doing. I wish that I could break free from the fear and be wise about my life! Once I throw God and my family into the mix, I get extra confused though. If I am supposed to follow Jesus, do I need to find a career? As a mother, should I have any other goals apart from my kids well-being and good development? and most of all…can I step up and be “on top of things” if I need to learn and improve skills for a new job? I am totally the nervous-eyed scanner, HELP!
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I have enjoyed reading many of the above posts, as I read several posts I felt a deep connection with your many of your struggles because they have also been my struggles. Unlike many of your stories I found my path by accident -I got hurt and went to therapy and was directed into the therapy field by my therapist. Well, I followed her advice and now I am also a healer of minds, a mental health therapist. Eventhough I feel like I make a difference in my work I also feel drained by it. The more that I listen to my client’s I often feel as if this world is not meant for us INFP’s. It is rigged against us because we are so in tune with our souls. If we don’t find our life’s calling we feel like we are slowly dying from the inside out. We feel so deeply and care so much that we are easily prone to burn ourselves out. We have such strong value systems and INFP’s tend to be so very hard on ourselves. I often see how life is not fair and I don’t understand how the most aggressive personalities often get what what they want – while the nicer folks don’t. Survival of the fittest seems so cruel and unusual to me. It just doesn’t seem fair to us INFP’s but it is what it is and we don’t have to like it just accept it. I often have to work very hard not to take life or myself too seriously. I also have learned over the years to slow down and pay attention to my health because I hold unto things too strongly and so deeply. I can almost feel my chest caving in and my heart chakra closing in on itself when I over personalize things. I can be incredibly tuned in to the feelings and thoughts of my clients but listening to problems for 6 to 8 hours a day can also be a very draining experience. I have come to appreciate how important balance is in my life. It is okay to tune things out and have some time to be alone to recharge my batteries. Fortunately I am also in a happy long term relationship which really helps me to stay grounded. I am the dreamer and my wife is a realist – I encourage her to get off the ground and take flight and she helps me from crashing into the sun.
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I feel I am at home here and am encouraged by everyone’s posts. This particular post sums up my thoughts exactly. Some days it’s so hard to be here when you feel so disconnected. Finding a career that fits you is critical to your well-being, and our current societal structure is not set up to work for us, in fact it more often works against us. I too feel that I am often overlooked and/or ignored in a group setting, which only exasperates the feelings of not belonging. Balance is very important. I find that gratitude can work wonders for my well being.
I work as a legal assistant and am currently taking prerequisite courses for Speech Pathology. I recently had a horrifying experience where I froze up during a group presentation…then the self-doubt creeped in again, and now I am considering dropping school altogether. But I keep going because I refuse to be a quitter.
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Well, guys I feel your pain, so a big internet hug to all of you… I think career is secondary in my life to the more important things: Being true to myself, having a good relationship with my family, being in touch with nature, taking care of my health, living everyday as an adventure. I guess these things are all orthogonal to a career-driven world, but all I can say is that we INFPs do a hell of a lot with a hell of a little, so please be easier on yourself ! ^_^
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Discovered I was INFP two years ago while trying to find out what was “wrong” with me. Never enjoyed any job since I left college 24 years ago and have always felt completely adrift in a world that has no place for me.
Finding this site there is a sense of coming home – reading your stories is at times uncanny! I’d like to make a plea to anyone who recognises a young INFP in their family – help them! Please don’t let anyone crush their creativity and tell them the things they are interested in are only for spare time and not fit for a proper career/ life (sound familiar to anybody?) A young impressionable mind might believe them and feel guilty about every creative impulse and try to squash it, not understanding why they are miserable till who knows when.
I’m off to re-read Infinite Self by Stuart Wilde, it does make me feel better
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I have a few thoughts. I am an INFP, too, and, like above, am on the border of Extrovert, but the older I get, the more Introverted I feel.
I am a SAHM and a homeschooler, schooling my kids. I confess, there are days that it just zaps me. Days that I love it usually outweigh the ones that zap my energy, but the mundane every day tasks are exhausting. If I have to wipe the table one.more.time. Or do another load of laundry…I am usually okay if I am deep in thought, but if one of the kids comes in and there is a squabble, I want to go into my room and hide!
I have wondered, though, what I could do once the kids are older. I have thought about tax preparing/bookkeeping. It would give me the flexibility of not being 9-5, it suits my love for perfectionism and filling out forms, and the interaction is minimal with others, giving me time to myself.
I wonder if anyone else has done this?
I do really love writing and have considered counseling. I ‘counsel’ online, non-professionally, of course. I enjoy that because I speak more eloquently in writing.
The other thing I have considered is editing. Anyone have any experience with any of those things, as an INFP?
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WOW! This is exactly how I feel! This is the first time I have found a site that describes the need of an INFP perfectly!! I look at other sites and say “yeah but not completly.” I’ve been a nursing assistant for years now and the only thing I like now is the job security. I hate being treated like I’m stupid by supervisors that have only known residents for a few and I’ve known them for years (6 to be exact). The patients I deal with are psych patients which requires a lot of creativity and outside of the box thinking with them. And you have know each patient individually to understand their needs. However, it has gotten to where it seems that the resident’s well being is put aside. Right now its more about how long am I gone on break, who is monitoring the hall, am I on the break I am assigned to for today, are you sitting down, what are you talking about. I mean we can’t even interact with the residents, or be spontaneous, or do out the ordinary things that the residents like without being micro-managed. Its ridiculous!!! I feel like I’m sufficating!! I hate my job!! It wasn’t always like that but it is now and I can’t stand it. I used to like going to work but now I hate it. And that has caused so much depression for me. I have to convince myself eveyday just to go to work when I used to couldn’t wait to get there. My family has even noticed the change. I would sometimes wonder is there something wrong with me that I have to talk myself into going to work now. And finally I found someone who understands what I’m talking about. I just hope I can find a career that suits me so that I won’t feel this down anymore.
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I’m a psychiatric nurse assistant too (and an INFP) and feel the same way. I love the creative problem solving this job involves and how really knowing a patient makes a difference. You can get them to get out of bed or avoid a shot or whathaveyou just by the relationship you have with them. However, I feel like I’m being micromanaged constantly. I work with geriatrics and there’s a constant coldcoughrunnynose thing going around and sometimes I catch it. I take those days off because I could literally kill one of my patients by passing it on to them. But whenever I do take a day off I get penalized for it. It feels like the management I work under doesn’t really value the quality of the job you do, instead they just want you to be a warm body fulfilling their numbers count that they need legally to have. I love my patients but I come home from work feeling drained. I realize that other employees are passing off jobs to me because I really do care and will be accomodating to patient’s needs. I rarely sit down and come home from work exhausted. I thought about going into nursing but this whole experience has made me reconsider. I’m looking at going back to school for public health an hopefully that will allow me to help people but in a less direct way. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I completely understand what you’re saying and I hope things get better for you
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I’m a nursing assistant also and can totally relate to what you’re saying! I feel like I can do so much more than this. I am about to quit my secure job and go back to school for acupuncture! I’m scared to death. But if I don’t do it, I will mentally die in this job. Good luck finding your career path!
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Wow! And here I thought I was an anomoly. Ive made it up to a year and 13 days at a job. I always get fired because Im just so absent-minded, slow, and socially awkward that my medical degree (4.0 GPA) and two foreign languages are disposable. The only thing I feel good at anymore are languages and school itself.
And I hate making mistakes! There is no lower feeling than your bosses searing knives of judgement, penetrating any self-worth and confidence you had left for that position.
Im so relieved that Im not alone in this and that its not because Im a royal screw up. Im just INFP.
On a side note maybe we can have INFP classified as a workplace handicap. That way we are safeguarded from being let go because of “Personality conflict issues.”
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So very enlightening to hear from fellow INFP’s in their quest for being authentic to who they are. I was very impressed with the articular by Aelthwyn and the care and incite that was taken in developing the list of what was critical in setting oneself up for success and being authentic. . .
I think as INFP’s we should take that effort in developing that “list” I know that we we always find it difficult to navigate in a world such as this, but that should not ever change or alter the coarse we set once we know who we are.
Early on in my childhood I chose a career in architecture because of the need I had to surrounded myself with all things creative. However, I also experienced many in my work that required me to do things that had nothing to do with my ideals of beauty, and art and creativity, etc…. But, during the journey, it also became apparent that no-one could take away who I was and what I wanted to become. That was up to me. Being true to who you are requires a commitment and effort to grow and seek the truth (your list). It requires a careful look into the future and assess if the struggles lead to where you want to be when the dust settles. . .
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Feels surreal reading these posts. If there was any doubt that I am truly an INFP, it has been allayed.
I don’t have all (or any of) the answers.
However, I never stop observing the situation and thinking of ways to “optimize” (improve) my current situation. This sometimes spills over into my daily routine, and I find myself mentally optimizing how to improve my day by shortening walking paths, choosing the healthier menu items, etc.
I believe this is why I’m motivated when helping those who also want to help themselves and improve their situation, not so much the lazy and the pessimistic. I know that if I ever become a counselor, I will become a career or academic counselor. Helping those who want to make changes in their lives and are not afraid of taking risks to do so. I doubt I’d be able to handle the heavy stuff, like working with drug addicts or the mentally handicapped.
I currently work at a tech company, and it’s not too bad as I get to work with smart, motivated and (for the most part) nice people. The first thing I did when joining was give the link to the online MB test to just the people in my (small) team, which they were thrilled to fill out. Then we shared each other’s types, and this has made the team’s interactions with each other more enjoyable (and leads to a lot of humour).
I’ve always enjoyed the creative side, so I continue to do photography on the side. I’m also taking acting and yoga classes, which help greatly. Writing is, of course, my strongest natural talent and the big elephant in the room for me. I know it’s what I’m best at, so sometimes I just feel like I’m avoiding it out of fear of success. Which is even greater than my fear of failure.
I’m a regular guy in my mid 20s, so not a lifetime of wisdom here. In any case, here is a list of things I have learned that I think will help fellow INFPs on their search for a career:
- Optimize for small group / one-on-one interactions.
- Red flag fields: where compensation is tied too closely with performance. Low base, high bonus. This environment is great for others (competitive, cutthroat, hustling) but not for INFPs.
- Avoid managerial positions in corporate environments. Let this be a liberating feeling – you don’t need to be manager, so just be happy at the lower level rungs of the company. They will scoff at your lack of ambition, or be amazed at your apathy. That’s fine – you are not like them. Let them fight it out.
- Learn to say no to useless projects or busywork that’s handed out simply to take advantage of your good nature. Think of the corporate world as a prison (an INFP won’t have to exert himself too hard to make such an analogy) – your first day there, stand up for yourself. Let them know that you won’t make it easy to be messed with. Punch the first bully you encounter in his metaphorical nose, so to speak.
- If your work offers no outlets for your natural creativity, find it outside of work. Evenings, weekends. This is where having a decent paying cubicle job will prove useful – you will be able to afford classes and equipment for your creativity. However, the truth is that most of us would be fine with just a clear head, stress free environment, a pen and some paper.
- Ultimately, self employment may be the only solution for any of us. No need to quit work to begin that – start working on your ideas on the evenings/weekends. Work on reducing your expenses and living simpler to cut down your costs.
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Thank you Nick, this is amazing advice!
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Wow I have never felt more understood, in my life. This is exactly how I feel about my career needs, and my interests. Like I don’t fit in to many job categories or others expectations… This describes me so well. I appreciate this post greatly!
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I googled ‘best careers for INFP’ and came across this website. I am surprised at how closely I relate to this article and much of what others have posted in reply!
This may partially explain why I’ve left jobs in the past and basically have had trouble securing a job where I am a good fit. I am 23 years old going on 24 and am disappointed that I am far from where I saw myself career-wise just a couple years ago. A lot of the jobs I’ve had in the past (mostly retail/ customer service) I’ve quit because I grew dissatisfied with and the duties of those jobs did not fully align with my personal values. I’ve definitely been wanting more than just a job, but where there is freedom, independence, harmony, and creative expression available. Going back to school is definitely a strong consideration for me. I wish the best of luck to everyone out there who struggles with the same things I do!
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It is such relief when you think you are the only one in the world and you realize other people exist like you. I love who I am as an INFP when I am alone. As soon as I am around other people, I hate myself. And we live in a world where interaction is vital, especially for making a living.
For me, being introverted is a curse. When you can’t find the right words when you need them when speaking to people sucks! I would love to be witty and funny as people love funny people but I can’t make my brain work fast enough to spit out some witty banter on the fly. But I can write and text message hillarious stuff when I have time to think about it.
I have always been a dreamer. I fantisize more then living in this reality that I live in. I have an entire dream life and fantasy career in my mind where I am actually happy and enjoy my life as a world class race car driver. I wonder if other INFP’s dream like I do. I can be the man I always longed to be in my dreams.
I am 35 y/o and have been a Paramedic since I was 19 y/o. I enjoy helping sick and injured people as many INFP’s enjoy helping people but I can’t stand being forced to make small talk with my partner or patients in the ambulance. I want a new career so bad but can’t figure out what to do with my life. Reading all these posts from my fellow INFP people here has me freaked out as so many of us don’t know what to do in life for a career. I dream of being a long haul truck driver as I can be alone. I love travelling and driving. But I don’t want to lose my family either if I went on the road as a trucker. What freedom and adventure it would be.
I feel like I was meant to be someone else, be somewhere else, and do something else. I feel like my entire life is on the wrong path. Maybe it is the INFP in me causing this kind of thinking. Or did I take the wrong road early in life where I should have zigged instead of where I zagged.
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Looks like this blog has been going for some time now, I just came across it and I hope many more follow behind me.
As many I’m sure, I came across this post in search of a meaning to my life/work. I am an INFP in every detail, though I dont find myself artistic or well spoken, I’ve been told by others that I am, which probably further exemplifies my INFP stature. I am 30 yrs old now, I got into the Financial Services industry 8 years ago after college ( terrible career choice for an INFP I know). I lied to myself and my first company to land a job with dreams and visions of monetary success and social appreciation. I have moved from company to company in search of a non-sales, creative environment with much despair. I recently took the leap and left the corporate world which was killing me from the inside out, to become an independent advisor. I am one of the rare breads (aren’t we all) that got into the business thinking I could help people but have found over the years that the industry is focused solely on itself and provides very little for the human race, yet costs them billions. I have a very hard time trying to find myself in this world, and only stay true to the financial world because I lack the confidence in myself that I have any sort of skills or ability to enter a new field. Like many of you, my second true love (first being my wife) is traveling. Its the only artistic expression I have found that I can let myself enjoy and promote due to a sense of pleasing those around me, or fearing the reprocusions of what friends might think of me. I have joined this new company, which is very progressive in trying to change the culture of the financial world which allows me to be part of the creative process. I work from home, all my clients are managed virtually, which will hopefully allow me the free time to travel and further help along the road of self realization. But I find myself now in further fear of the future. Very little income, not alot of future growth due to the fact that I hate promoting my myself through prospecting and telling others how to live heir lives.
I guess my question to all you INFP’s out there is what would you do if you were in my shoes? Do I try and re-create the wheel by joining this progressive company in hopes of changing the financial industry i know? If so, do I bite the bullet and struggle financially to try and achieve this dream (which may or may not be an un-obtainable dream). Or do I finally cut bait with the only thing I know and try to re-create myself? Great blog by the way, I look forward to advancements in an online community for our types.
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If you are not satisfied within the financial industry, find something else.
To help alleviate this transition I would suggest that you cut all excess expenses and manage yourself, financially, so that you have some breathing room. Being as experienced in the financial world as you are, you should have no problem.
Follow your heart. We all have but one life.
If we are not free to make mistakes, we are not free to live.
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sdmatt151,
I have been reading this blog for months and not responded yet, until I read about your experience in the Financial sector. I too find myself there. After my dreams of becoming a professional baseball player was dashed in my early teens (I was never great at baseball anyways), I haven’t found what motivates me. I went through college aimlessly (it took me over two years to select a major), and only settled on Business and Economics because they seemed “practical.” Ouch. I wanted financial security. Ouch. I wanted a job that would allow me to keep “work” at “work”–your typical 8 to 5 job. Ouch. Every decision that went into my career choice was a lie. It took me about a year working for a global banking business as a “financial analyst” to figure that out.
Three years later, countless therapy sessions, and many small life changes later, I still feel the dissatisfaction of my career. I switched from a global banking company to a regional life insurance company. I am at that crossroads again. Like some INFP’s, I find the fear of success just as real as the fear of failure. What if I invest my time and money into another career that will leave me empty? What if I never find a fulfilling vocation? These are tough questions with no real answers.
But this life is never as bleak as some of us INFP’s see it. I have a loving family who understands my need to find my purpose, a faith that clings to me even when I want to let go, and another day to finally find out what it is I want to be when I grow up. (fyi, I am actually a grown up…I mean that in the loosest of terms!)
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I am also an INFP and have also gone through several career transitions. I studied economics in my undergrad then did a master’s in divinity. After working overseas for 3 years I came back to Canada and have worked in marketing for the past 15 years. Most of the time it’s boring, but pays the bills. Have been searching for the next career transistion as I get closer to 50! Was considering starting my own after school program for children or a Kumon franchise…
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Love your post. If you want help to find a career you’re best suited to, check out these books. I’ve been searching for a career that fulfils my infp needs for ten years and this is the first time I’ve actually felt close to finding it:
Do what you are by Tieger and Barron
The Pathfinder by Nicholas Lore
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Hi all, I recently got tested to be an INFP. First it was very relieved to know all my self-internal conflicts since I was a child was not that I am crazy, just it’s my perceiving function working in overdrive. I used to think I would never live to the age of 12. Reading how many of you had so many experiences trying different jobs make me feel envious that you guys all actually acted out on your feelings. I didn’t and sucked it up.
Then, I realised working in my current career isn’t going to make me fulfilled, a tax specialist in a big firm. When I finally I got that, I now appreciate the stability and financial support the job comes with and stopped feeling as overwhelmed and suffocated as I did before. Less expectations. And i am saving as much as I can before i make my next move which is likely something more fulfilling and financially less stable.
But thank you all for putting down your two cents to share. Remember us INFPs are so scarce given the MB stats, and economic theory said scarce resources are highly valued commodity. Our struggles are worthwhile because we work so hard to connect to other people to better their lives. Chin up all.
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“Always go beyond labels.”
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Okay, this was a great blog entry and as an INFP I totally identify.
Can somebody make a list of decent paying jobs that actually do have these kinds of conditions? Aside from writer, which obviously can pay so very little and in the one out of a million chance, pay a lot.
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I love the person who wrote this, and everyone who has been commenting <3
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Wow, this is amazing
.
I’m 18yrold girl INFP. I LOVE day dreaming, fantasizing about ideal situations, emotions etc (I have a hard time being sure of reality and what is in my head), listening to music & reading up on the lyrical meaning in great depth, having deep conversations one on one, writing out my thoughts (sometimes creatively), originality, authenticity, researching psychological theories (e.g. mbti personalities) and despite my usually ‘quiet’ nature I can ramble on passionately about subjects I really care about to people I am open with. I also am quite patient to others differences because I am always seeking to understand them as I know myself, I feel complex and spend ALOT of time analyzing myself. I usually self-sacrifice my time for the good of others. I remember in school I always doubted my creativity yet it seems to be something EVERYONE points out that I have in abundance? I second guess myself ALOT and my motives. I feel like I am very perceptive about others motives too, but I am nice enough to keep it to myself. I treat others the way I want to be. I never left a bad thought about someone uncorrected to something positive. I know deep down everyone is beautiful.
I HATE boundaries, rules, deadlines – anything that limits my unrealistic expectations of life. In fact, the most painful experiences often result from people with rigid thinking often hint that I need to ‘be more realistic’ which ends up feeling as tho I’m inferior to there logic and the reality of something. It makes me feel unhelpful and as an annoyance to them! Authorities annoys me also but I rarely confront out of fear of conflict in general.
Does any other INFP feel like this ??
Another question, I’m at uni currently studying Speech Pathology and doubting whether this is really suited to me since I struggle to communicate clearly to others verbally. However I feel this career would grow me in my weakest area. I guess my ideal ‘idea’ of allowing growth through a career choice sounds pretty random..I do feel like it’s other aspects would suit my personality though. What do you think?
Thanks for reading!
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Hi Jess,
I totally relate to this entire blog, but especially to you because although I am 47 years old, I’m about to go back to school to pursue a degree in Occupational Therapy…at least I think I am. I’ve actually thought about it for about 10 years now, and I keep talking myself out of it because I’m just not sure. And I hate not being sure. I even go back and forth trying to decide between Occupational Therapy and Speech Pathology. And like you, I feel that there are many aspects of these jobs that would fit with the INFP personality and needs. But I’m so afraid that I just won’t like the jobs after I’ve put in all the time in school, and taken out all of the student loans. I’m so afraid of wasting time. But the truth of the matter is that I’ve already wasted a lot of time. And what I’ve learned is that whether we choose to do something or not, the time is still going to pass by. And I’ve also been thinking to myself, I already know what I don’t want – because I’ve been doing that for years as an Executive Secretary, so now I have to at least give something else a try. And for every year that passes by, I feel like I’m slowly dying. I guess we both just have to make a decision, and let the chips fall where they may. Good luck to you…and to all of us!
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Wow..thanks a ton for this article..i am so thankful for the author to have mentioned certain points which probably only an INFP can understand…especially when it comes to working in groups…either you feel you are the one who has to do all the work or end being neglected as if you are not worthy of doing it….this is something i have always felt although i have no idea if in my job i can really cope with it …
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I found this article quite interesting. I’m supposed to be an INFP, but while I very much related to certain aspects of this post, I didn’t entirely get the, “This is me!” light bulb.
I completely understand the need for autonomy – no one to order you around and no one you must order around. I’m also disinterested in money and am looking for something meaningful and creative.
However, after reading many of the comments, I got the sense that many INFPs want to be “behind the scenes” and avoid jobs that involve daily criticism. Sometimes I feel like that would be best for me emotionally, but then I think I’m just letting fear control me.
Because for me, it’s always been kind of a struggle between, “I hope no one sees me. I hope I blend in,” and, “I want to break free and show all of my talents in an exhilarating one-woman show that inspires and entertains!”
Yeah, quite the dichotomy.
For that reason, I thought starting a Youtube channel would be the perfect career choice for me.
I could choose my own work hours but keep a basic, video-per-week schedule. I could have complete creative control of my content – no one telling me what to do or how to do it, and no one to keep track of or discipline but myself.
I could build an audience that would appreciate my work and perhaps even be interested in my other projects (books, artwork, etc.).
I could finally “shine”, so to speak, by amalgamating all of my talents and making people laugh, or inspiring them, or helping them.
And if I got big enough, I could make a nice living for myself. It may not be the most stable career, but it would open up a lot of doors for the future.
The only problem is that I’m struggling between the outgoing performer in me that thrives on having an audience, and the shy, private introvert that gets physically ill (not to mention wicked cotton mouth -.-) in a negative, critical atmosphere. I’ve got a touch of the social phobia, too, which doesn’t help.
Youtube – and the internet forums in general – can be disgustingly cruel. If I put myself out there, I’m saying “Okie Dokie” to the inevitable public ridicule that everyone in the spotlight (Well…the low-budget camcorder-light) has to deal with.
If anyone has read this through (kudos on the attention span), what are your thoughts on Youtube as a career/career-starter for INFPs?
Can any other INFPs relate to the things I’ve said, or am I on the outskirts of the Myers-Briggs system?
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I am training to be an artist and I find it is really common for the famous artists that come and talk to us to say they are basically unemployable.
I make my living doing storytelling and magic shows for kids which I really love (especially the part where I teach them about love). It is very part time vocation but I am blessed to also have a contract to visit sick kids in hospital and cheer them up one afternoon a week.. I have tried having staff but I am not suited to it – I am much more of a one person company or I can have a boss at a distance – typical INFP. I also have a job running an art class for children and my own thing running a weekly creativity class for adults – which is a small group (4 students at the moment) and very satisfying.
I am 43 and it has taken me a long time to find such fun and fulfilling work and create all the marketing etc. around it to make it work. In fact I have just counted and I have been sacked from (or felt I Had to leave) over eight jobs – and they are just the ones that spring to mind.
I think if you are an INFP you are wise to accept that you don’t fit in easily to western society especially corporate life and decide to be proactive and make your own niche. One way of looking at it is that it a real blessing because alot of people are deeply unfulfilled in their work but just struggle on ‘living lives of quiet desperation’ or numbing out with tv or intoxicants in their free time. If you are strong in feelings, living that life (‘faking it’ as previously mentioned in another post) is just not an option for you. I suggest embracing respecting your imagination, giving reverence to your values and doing something to make the world a better place.
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Hello fellow INFPs. I’m 43. I have a degree in Art History. Most of my adult life I’ve worked as an admin assistant–meanwhile pursuing creative endeavors in my spare time. I’m also a career student, constantly retraining for “something” better. Recently, I completely programs in photography and arts administration.
This is what I think will work for me going forward: cultivating a lifestyle that will support two or three part-time jobs. It’s kind of like being freelance, but a little more stable. One thing I’d always hated about my full-time employers in the past is that they OWNED me. I felt locked in. Begging for everything from time to use the bathroom to when and how to use the vacation time they promised during the interview process.
I’m currently working part-time for a museum, a gallery and a nonprofit.
Maybe we INFPs don’t have to settle on a single career/employer. Maybe we can pull together a menu of opportunities (both paid and unpaid) that will fulfill us and keep the landlord/mortgage company happy and the wolf from the door.
xo,
Shannon
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Hello all. I enjoyed reading this and allll of the comments. I’ve had the same struggles myself with finding where I belong and jobs seem mercilessly rigid and unforgiving. I graduated from liberal arts school, but never fully fit in there either. After several encounters with “the man” and real life, I thought ok, this is it, I’m doomed to misery and stagnation.
That all has changed, but not magically. I went back to school to take classes and am now a “non traditional” second year medical student. It is an ill-advised career choice by many standards, and often times I wonder if it’s worth “going against my grains.”
I’m a 29 year old girl, so it’s naive advice, but I can offer what worked for me. My circumstances had pretty much beat me down to the point where I had no other choice but to accept the fact that I would never fully fit in anywhere and that life would choose for me if I didn’t just do something. So I let go of my safety and certainty, all my fears and the disapproval of others. Sounds like settling, I know. But I actually found a kind of unexpected freedom.
Think about our strengths. We see good and beauty in even dismal situations. We care deeply and connect ideas and use them for growth. We search for truth and meaning, and that often means finding it in unlikely places. I hate so many things about med school. The competition, the petty things, the narcissists, the drudgery, the rules. The white coats. But on the flip side, daily exposure to this regimented world has taken away a lot of my fear and even re-solidified my strive to do things in a just and kind manner, even when I’m “outnumbered.” I can be kind to a stranger in the hall, even if I’m late to another “life or death” exam. That’s an infp strength, folks. Perspective.
Medicine is not for everyone, and I have doubts all the time. I should be studying now
. But for those of us who are stuck in real-life, inflexible situations, our ability to adapt and absorb richness from the mundane is a real asset that can work in our favor. Like a silent, secret rebellion. Infiltrating the enemy. You don’t have to love it, but you’d be surprised how far you can push yourself if you let go of the fear of not loving it. We’re infps. Life is going to be rough. But we’re deeply strong as a result.
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Wow. I just read every comment searching for a perfect career choice. But what I found was a feeling that others are just the same way. Thanks, everyone. I’m thinking of returning to college for either environmental studies (big organic farm advocate), or massage therapy. The search of our lives is really exhausting, but it’s nice to know you’re not insane because of it, just INFP.
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I guess, like a lot of INFPs, I tend to jump into things in a bout of excitement and inspiration, and then that inspiration fades and I am left questioning why I chose this or that path.
I had this experience recently (mid last year) when I was deciding on studying at university. I decided on Public Policy. While I had wanted to seriously research and find the right course for me, my enthusiasm (which tends to be high at the beginning), perhaps overrode my better insticts; basically, I ended up jumping in head first without really being patient and considering whether it was right for me.
Now, there may be a career out there that I can use the PP Masters for, but my instincts right now may be correct; i.e. it may blow up in my face as it just won’t fit no matter how hard I try. I had this problem with my bachelor. I stuck to it and graduated with Labor Relations, but then when I went into the workforce, I got fired (not pretty to admit, but it happened twice) – my employers found me to be unenthusiatic and disinterested – and to be fair, they were right! Since then, I have had various jobs but no great career path. Which leads me to where I am, again facing what another individual in here has called an ‘existential crisis’.
Ok, so that was a long background and some of it not relevant to my question, but here is my question – if indeed we are flippant people and are just destined to chop-and-change over and over, should we just stick with something when that time arrives, and our instincts tell us to change direction? I guess this comes down to everyones individual perspective.
By the way, I am only 2 subjects out of 8 so far (and working 4 days a week in another role). So I guess that changes whether it might be logical to drop out.
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In my experience working careers as an INFP the fulfilling aspect is always related to the people I work with. If I work with a group of people I can care about I’m happy a lot of the time and if I’m not working with a group I care about I’m not happy most of the time. By nature my interests shift and change and circle back around but the people I’m with help ground me on a day to day basis. I’ve done primarily freelance work for a while now and while the money has been good the lack of committed relationships I get to be a part of in the work has been the big struggle.
I think much of the struggle INFP’s have is because the work world is shifting toward shorter term employment with companies which leads to looser social bonds. We need people to appreciate us over time and deep connections are becoming a thing of the past in this modern work environment.
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This describes me so well! I went into music teaching, which is a recommended career, but I don’t feel comfortable asserting authority so I can’t control a classroom, and hours of private teaching are draining because of having to be constantly interacting with another person. Plus most students are beginners, and it’s just so boring to me to continue going over the fundamentals.
I also have another part-time job which offers a lot of freedom but it is very repetitive.
I am trying my hand at acting and actually booking some work, so that’s nice, but I really need to develop a fallback in the meantime that doesn’t completely drain me the way teaching and repetitive work both do. I am looking into being a fitness and nutrition coach, and I love writing and am trying to come up with ways I can monetize that. I’m not interested in technical writing or anything like that, that’s boring.
I know that sounds spoiled, but I was sold the bill of goods that if I worked hard and got all As and went through graduate school that I would get to do work that interested me and that would provide at least a living wage. If I had spent my high school years having fun and partying and getting Cs, I’d feel like it was a reasonable consequence that I would have to spend all my time doing work I disliked in order to keep my head above water. At least, if I had to work long hours at work I hated, I’d want it to provide me with a terrific standard of living.
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I recently discovered that I am an INFP a couple of weeks ago. I just turned 25 yesterday and the last few months have been hell. Its like I’ve just woken up from a dream, I don’t know where the last 4 years went. I am from the UK and I still live with my mum. I have always worked but its been seasonal work at a job I never liked and always tried to do something else along the way. I love photography and went to do a degree at a local college but dropped out due to family issues, my other passion is skateboarding so last year a friend and I decided to open and start a skate shop business, I am typing this from the shop as I speak. unfortunately I don’t make much money at all from the shop and I still work part time at the same seasonal job, it recently hit me that if the shop fails then I am going to have nothing! I have NO idea what to do, I’ve gone over a million things in my head, try to apply for an apprenticeship and become a silent partner to the business, volunteer in the evenings maybe work with youth as I read that could be a good career for INFPs. I have recently fell into a deep depression and don’t know where to start or who to talk to, careers advisor? seek a therapist? I hate being so far behind in life I don’t know where the time has gone. I just want a stable career and to be able to save for a deposit and move out. so many things going through my head.
any advice would be appreciated! I’m thinking about seeing a career counsellor and also giving in to seeing a therapist. anyone used either and thought it was worthwhile spending money on it??
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It took me a long time, a lot of writing, and many sleepless nights, but I finally figured out the best career path for me–that doesn’t interfere and ruin my life.
I was driving along with my husband in the car when suddenly inspiration struck and I blurted out that I wanted to run an at-home childcare business. He immediately told me it was a great idea, and even though I spent the rest of the day trying to take it apart and find the holes, my ever-logical husband turned out to be right (again).
I can’t stand 90% of adults, but I have yet to meet a child who doesn’t have a heart of gold. In my state it’s legal to care for up to six children at home for pay, and need no licensure whatsoever, so that keeps my need to be free of a controlling boss met. My creative side gets to shine when the kids and I do projects and play games, and then my perfectionistic side gets to shine when I’m cleaning and making sure everything’s safe and organized. Since I watch kids only after school, I get to spend time in the early afternoons with my husband, who works second shift. Then after school my only-child has kids to play with. It was extremely important to me not to have to trade my family time for money. Now, instead of it seeming like I sacrificed for the money, it almost feels like people are just giving me money and I’m like “Well…ok.” Things just couldn’t be any better.
Except they are. In the early morning I work on my novel(s). With e-readers and Amazon, I’ve hired myself as an indie fiction author and publish free, then watch as money hits my bank account. Because I have a second income otherwise, I don’t stress about how much I make or how long it takes–I let the stories bloom naturally and write and research a little every day, pressure-free. A novel averages about $300 a month. Eventually, I will have a completely passive livable wage that will allow me to travel and satisfy the spontaneous, adventuresome side of me too.
I too wish you your true path, my kaleidoscopic friend.
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