I’m Not a Bully

Two weeks ago I wrote this post about an ex-coworker who wasn’t responding to me. I got very frustrated with him and took to the Internet to bitch about him with what I thought was a well-written point about closing doors.

I received a lot of negative feedback about how I was being “passive-aggressive,” “narcissistic,” “unsympathetic”, “not very much like an INFP,” “a dick,” “a douche” and most of all a “bully.” This all came because I mentioned making fun of him at work.

I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to everybody who pointed out that I was being all of those things. I wasn’t being true to myself and I wasn’t being true to who I am as a loving, caring and sensitive person.

So I wrote to my ex-coworker to apologize for making fun of him at work and just to make sure that we are cool. We are. When we were working together, we had a back-and-forth that would simply be categorized as “ball busting.” I knew this, but my post made it sound like I was simply attacking him for my own fun and he would walk off with his head down to cry in his cube.

Again, it was two people having fun making fun of each other, but I see where I went wrong in expecting others to see that.

This experience helped remind me that I need to write in a way that’s true to who I am. I was trying to write like one of those cool, snarky bloggers with big attitudes and big followings. I want to write posts with a point that have a little excitement in them. I didn’t achieve that.

The good thing is that I took some lessons out of this and decided to make sure I’m always writing in a way that is true to who I am as a naturally caring, spiritual and empathetic person.

That being said, I fully welcome anyone who is being bullied to email me or to comment on the posts of this website. We’re INFPs, which makes us naturally “different.” Society doesn’t always like and appreciate “different” and we can end up being bullied.

Many people who visit this site have been through similar things. I have been too.

So if you’re being picked on and bullied and you feel like there’s nothing you can do about it, please reach out to someone. You are a beautiful person and you need to nurture that. There’s nothing to feel shameful about and keeping it in can be very dangerous to your psyche and well being.

So thanks again for pointing out my mistakes and trying to rightsize me.

4 thoughts on “I’m Not a Bully”

  1. I’ve only recently discovered the concept of being “INFP” (previously have thought I was variably bipolar, aspergers, schizophrenic, early states of Alzheimer’s, etc) and it’s been eye opening to me. I will say however that I have a tendency to behave in ways that are uncharacteristic of INFPs when I’m anxious and stressed… Namely complaining about hating things/people at work and just being an egotistical prick. Not sure if that’s the case for others but considering what I know about the anxious state of mind and how INFPs often feel misunderstood and unliked in large social places (like a work place) I wouldn’t be surprised.


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